


Multiverse: A Thousand Pieces of Naruto

by Incognito01



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alcoholic Naruto, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Future, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Attempt at Humor, Author's attempt with Angst, BAMF Dai-nana-han | Team 7 (Naruto), BAMF Uzumaki Naruto, Brotherly Love, Dai-nana-han | Team 7 (Naruto)-centric, Drabble Collection, F/M, Female Uzumaki Naruto, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Crack, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Fuuinjutsu Master Uzumaki Naruto, Gen, Hokage Uzumaki Naruto, Hyuuga Neji Lives, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Infinite Tsukuyomi, Insanity, M/M, Multi, Multiverse, Naruto is Just Naruto, No Uchiha Massacre, Oblivious Uzumaki Naruto, One Shot Collection, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Overprotective Minato, POV Uchiha Itachi, Smart Uzumaki Naruto, Songfic, Soulmates, Team Bonding, Team as Family, Time Travel Fix-It, Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto Friendship, Uchiha-centric
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:08:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 31,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23667400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Incognito01/pseuds/Incognito01
Summary: Drabble Collection of NarutoChapter 1: Bailing Out - Shikamaru/FemNaruto/SasukeChapter 2: First Words - Kakashi & FemNarutoChapter 3: Heaven - Minato & NarutoChapter 4: Alien Invasion - FemNaruto/?Chapter 5: The Proposal - Kakashi/FemNaruto/ShisuiChapter 6-8: Charmed by the Hokage - Naruto & EveryoneChapter 9: How to Save a Life - Itachi & ShisuiPreview of Chapter 1:Silence.Shikamaru and Sasuke are standing in front of their cell. Faces with unreadable expressions.And there is it. Naruto’s infamous whine.“Shikaaaaaa. Sasukeeeee. Comeeee ooooon.”Cue. The eye twitching. But Sasuke and Shikamaru will not be moved. Not this time.
Relationships: Dai-nana-han | Team 7 & Hatake Kakashi, Gaara/Uzumaki Naruto, Hatake Kakashi & Namikaze Minato, Hatake Kakashi & Nohara Rin & Uchiha Obito, Hatake Kakashi & Uchiha Shisui, Hatake Kakashi & Uzumaki Naruto, Hatake Kakashi/Uzumaki Naruto, Konoha 11 & Sai & Uzumaki Naruto, Namikaze Minato & Uzumaki Naruto, Namikaze Minato/Uzumaki Kushina, Nara Shikamaru/Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto, Nara Shikamaru/Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Itachi & Uchiha Sasuke & Uchiha Shisui, Uchiha Itachi & Uchiha Shisui, Uchiha Itachi/Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Shisui/Uzumaki Naruto, Uzumaki Naruto & Everyone
Comments: 107
Kudos: 660





	1. Bailing Out: Shikamaru/FemNaruto/Sasuke

**Author's Note:**

> FemNaruto.  
> In a world where nobody dies, Naruto is being her usual self, dragging all of her friends into insanity, causing mayhem everywhere.
> 
> Summary:  
> Naruto and her friends, once again, got themselves caught and thrown into jail. Sasuke and Shikamaru are there to bail them out. Or will they?

**_World 1:_ **

Silence.

Shikamaru and Sasuke are standing in front of their cell. Faces with _unreadable_ expressions. 

Behind them, the rest of the Clan heads and the other guardians are observing, features full of interest and amusement. The Anbu guards located a few meters away, who are responsible for the arrest (aka Itachi, Shisui, Yamato, and Kakashi), are having a hard time hiding their presence. There is an ongoing bet between the Uchiha cousins on _how fast_ Sasuke will explode. Their anticipation is winning over their need to be discreet (Besides, it’s not like the Yondaime is gonna be mad even if they were seen). Meanwhile, on the far left-side corner, Fugaku’s (aka the warden) eyebrow is incessantly twitching in annoyance. Mikoto and Kushina are standing next to him, having a hard time stifling their giggles. 

Basically, Everyone is intently waiting to see how the two boys will react. Besides, it’s not like any of them could do anything. It was under the strict orders of Yondaime that only Shikamaru and Sasuke could bail their friends out. Not that they would help on any other occasion. The chaos brought by Naruto and her minions had never failed to entertain them (except for the Uchiha Police Force and the prank victims). Going back to the scene, there is it again. 

Silence.

A pungent, suffocating silence between the bailers and the offenders. Heaving a sigh in defeat, Shikamaru finally decided to break the silence, speaking in a reprimanding tone. 

“Chouji and Hinata have already been corrupted. The--” Instantly, the two looked sheepish at that remark, smiling guiltily. “--rest are stupid--” The resounding disagreement of ‘Hey!’ (mostly coming from Kiba, Ino, Lee, and Sakura) was effortlessly ignored by Shikamaru in favor of continuing his talk “So they’re hopeless. But… Shino. Neji. Tenten. I honestly expected more from you.”

Sasuke zeroed in his glare into the trio. An eyebrow arched, while impatiently waiting for their response. 

“Well?” The trio’s eyes visibly twitched at Sasuke’s question.

“Hinata-sama was caught in this insanity. I had to be there to protect her.” Neji defended as if it totally justified his entire contribution to this mess. Tenten was next.

“Well... It sounded fun--” The temperature further dropped below zero. Before she could continue, Tenten heard them repeat. 

_“--Fun_ ” Sasuke and Shikamaru echoed chillingly, pinning her with a dirty look. If Tenten was a lesser woman, she would have definitely crumbled at their gaze (Kiba, Lee, Ino, and Sakura gulped in fear). Still, she continued. 

“Yes. It was also a good training for my aim. Naruto made sure that our roles focus on enhancing our specialties. Besides, somebody has to look after them.” Tenten finished, putting a hand on her hips to show her defiance. 

Sasuke shifted slightly to face Shino, furiously glaring at his friend. The annoyance at Shikamaru’s features after listening to Tenten multiplied tenfold. Shino knows there is nowhere to escape. It’s his turn to speak. Shino adjusted his glasses first before speaking.

“The reason for my involvement is because I was needed. Why, you asked? It is a safety measure to ensure that Naruto and the others would not get themselves killed.” He ended, refusing to speak further. And, there is it again.

_Silence._

Kiba, the idiot (even Akamaru agrees in this situation) who can no longer stand the silence, chose to speak up.

“Shikamaru. Sasuke. Come on, let us out! We had a plan this time. It's the Mangekyo Sharingan’s fault.” Kiba then glared at Shisui who childishly stuck out his tongue in response. 

Before Sasuke could choke the living daylights out of the Inuzuka, Shikamaru stepped up. “Okay then. Since _You_ have graciously mentioned _the plan_. Care to tell us more about it?”

All this time, Naruto, at the backmost corner of the cell, is dozing her head off, both arms and legs outstretched, blissfully unaware that one of her friends is about to get murdered.

Kiba, finally noticing he dug his own grave, responded cautiously “I’m not really good at explaining stuff... You should ask Neji--” Neji immediately glared at him for dragging him. Promises of painful revenge can be seen in his pale eyes, “-- about it. But! It was a good plan. Even Akamaru agrees!” On the sides, Akamaru is furiously shaking his head in denial (the traitor). 

They can feel the _controlled irritation_ oozing from Shikamaru. Sasuke, on the other hand, is seconds away from snapping.

(“This is getting good” Somebody commented in the background).

Shikamaru quickly interjected. “I see… If the plan _was good,_ then how did you end up _here_?”

Kiba _knows_ they’re dead, no matter what he says. _I lived a good life_. He thinks. Kiba swallowed before responding. “Well. Getting caught was...” Ino, fearing for their safety, mouthed _'S_ _end her in_ ’, which Lee and Sakura happily obliged. “--not part of the plan” 

Lee and Sakura immediately shoved Naruto to face the wrath of the two. 

“Wha” Naruto mumbled hazily. Upon seeing the two, she instantly perked up, “Oh Hey--” Naruto grinned widely “--Shika, Sasuke-Teme are you here to bust us out?”

A vein popped in Sasuke’s temple. And the dam finally burst. “NO! THAT--” Shisui sighed and handed the bill to Itachi who smirked in return (He honestly gave Sasuke more credit) “--That doesn’t excuse any of your actions!” Sasuke screamed at Kiba’s face before turning to Naruto.”And, YOU!” 

“Me? What did I do?” The rest of the Konoha 12, except Shikamaru and Sasuke, cringed at the stupidity of Naruto’s question.

“What. Did. You. Do?” Sasuke gritted out. Shikamaru sighed. Sasuke is too troublesome to be stopped at this point, still, he honestly doesn’t want the Blond to die. So, Shikamaru intervened, letting the Uchiha let out some steam.

“Naruto. The Anbu headquarters is covered with orange paint and exploded in _glitters_ \--” As if to prove his point, Yamato appeared right next to them covered in glitter and orange, eyes promising a lot of pain.

“Yeah! Kiba, Neji, and Lee helped out. It was totally awesome right!” Naruto eagerly supplied.

“--in which multiple citizens got caught. You replaced every ink in the Uchiha Police Force office with a _disappearing one._ And I--”

“Oh! Sakura, Hinata, and Chouji concocted the substitute ink. Amazing right!” Naruto gave the trio a thumbs up, totally missing the point.

“--have absolutely no idea how you did it. Somehow, _You_ turned all the mission reports for the past quarter into a _gigantic, paper toad -_ -”

“That was actually easy! Shino and Tenten--” Her words were drowned out as Shikamaru continued speaking.

“--and it _moved_ , wreaking havoc near the Academy. Iruka-sensei had to be brought to the Hospital because his _blood pressure_ _skyrocketed_.” Shikamaru ended in exasperation. At this point, the worst of his irritations had already subsided. Shikamaru is mostly exhausted. He can sense that Sasuke’s the same. 

(At the back, Shikaku mused. He can’t remember the last time he’s son was so worked out. Kushina and Mikoto are already on full-blown laughter, holding at Fugaku for support. Tsume is smacking the back of the Hyuuga in hysterics. Kakashi is clapping at the brilliance of their mayhem, all the while, mocking Yamato’s appearance. The latter, on the other hand, is being held by the two Uchihas in an attempt to control the bloodshed.) 

“Well, we really didn’t plan to be--” Naruto was scratching the back of her neck sheepishly.

“No. Naruto--” Sasuke inhaled deeply, “-- _we_ don’t care about your plan. Shikamaru and I are not helping any of you _this time_. The moment you’re all out of the bars. Konoha will _fall into chaos_.” Sasuke emphasized.

Naruto huffed, puffing her cheeks and crossing her hands in protest. “That’s an exaggeration.”

“The gigantic, paper toad took _two hours_ to control,” Sasuke remarked dryly. 

Silence.

“Fine! No more paper toads--” Naruto grunted grumpily, “--Will you now let us out?” Shikamaru and Sasuke gave her a pointed look.

Silence.

“Comeeee on. We won’t get caught next time. You won’t have to bail us out again.”

“This is the 12th time this week. And it’s only Wednesday.” Shikamaru deadpanned.

Silence.

“Naruto. We. Are. Not. Busting. Any. Of. You. Shika, let’s go. We’re leaving--” Sasuke turned around, ready to leave. “--These idiots better learn their lesson this time.” Shikamaru sighed before following his friend. They were already a few steps away from the cell when it came. Shikamaru and Sasuke stilled.

And there is it. Naruto’s infamous whine.

“Shikaaaaaa. Sasuke-temeeeee. Comeeee ooooon.” 

Cue. The eye twitching. But Sasuke and Shikamaru will not be moved. _Not this time._

“You’re our friend right? Help us out. Pretty pretty pleaseee” Even with their backs turned, they can sense Naruto pouting. They will not _look_. Sasuke and Shikamaru will not _succumb_.

More Twitching. 

“Shikaaa. Sasuke-Temeee. Pleaseeee? This will be the last time. I--” Sasuke and Shikamaru slightly glanced at Naruto (biggest mistake) to see if she’s genuine“-- promise.” 

And the _Puppy Eyes_ are out. 

Shikamaru and Sasuke’s resolve crumbled within seconds. 

Naruto and her captured friends were immediately released the next minute. The entire room fell into laughter and snickers. 

* * *

Fugaku left the room to its insanity. The released prisoners went to their respective guardians to celebrate, all grinning ear to ear. Itachi, Mikoto, and Shisui are now standing next to Sasuke, who is visibly sulking. The latter is teasing him endlessly, while the former is patting Sasuke in the head, concurrently offering words of comfort.

“You lasted longer this time, little brother.” 

Meanwhile, Shikamaru is being pestered by the older Ino-Shika-Chou. All the while grumbling at how troublesome everything was. Kiba can be seen running away from Neji, screaming his head off. The Hyuuga branch member still hasn’t forgotten Kiba’s attempt to use him as a scapegoat. Hinata following close behind in an attempt to save the Inuzuka (After all, Hinata wouldn't want Akamaru to be partner-less by the end of the day). The girls, with the exception of Naruto and Hinata, are chatting, recalling their earlier adventure. 

Peeking out from her mother and adoptive brothers’ side (Kakashi and Yamato. The latter intensely berating her while the former is praising her creativity), Naruto beamed at his two closest friends.

“Shika! Sasuke-teme! I knew I could always count on you. You guys are the best friends a girl could ever ask for!”

Cue. A dazzling smile and Two blushing tomatoes.

In a futile attempt to save their image, Shikamaru and Sasuke softly protested.

“Sh-shut up.”

“T-troublesome Blond” 

Laughter further ensues.

In the Hokage tower, Minato watched the entire scene through his crystal ball, laughing his ass out with tears brimming in the corner of his eyes. Minato truly loves his chaos of a daughter.


	2. First Words: Kakashi & FemNaruto

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary:
> 
> Brotherly Fluff. In which Kakashi became a permanent member of the Namikaze household as Naruto’s (un)official babysitter
> 
> Or the story of how Naruto adopts Kakashi as a big brother.
> 
> Preview:
> 
> He’s not sulking.
> 
> Kakashi, the sole living Hatake, the youngest member of Team Minato, the prodigy who was promoted as Chuunin at a mere age of 6, does not sulk.
> 
> (No matter what everyone seems to claim otherwise)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG. Thank you so much for the comments, kudos, and bookmarks! I'm absolutely thrilled that you guys liked it! Thank you all for the inspirations <3 For that, here's the new chapter as a gift! I seriously hope you'll all like it too.
> 
> But before starting this chapter, I want to give special thanks and reply to the comments I haven't responded yet.
> 
> To Fallen_Snow: I hope I can continue meeting your expectations with this chapter <3
> 
> To SHEYSHEY: I'll try the ShikaTeme pairing for you at some other time (of course, Naruto's still there). I just still haven't grasped the character of Temari (she's kinda intense. Hahaha)
> 
> To mika88m: OMG. Same! (but I ship a lot of pairings. Hahaha) If Naruto was female, I've always imagined Team 7 to be Shika-Naru-Sasu (Ino-Shika-Cho be damned). 
> 
> Anyways, Here it is! Thank you so much and Enjoyyy <3

_ **World 2:** _

He’s not sulking.

Kakashi, the sole living Hatake, the youngest member of Team Minato, the prodigy who was promoted as Chuunin at a mere age of 6, _does not sulk_.

It’s been months since Namikaze-Uzumaki Naruto was born. At first, Kakashi was delighted. The baby was cute with her small whiskers, baby fingers, and ocean-hued eyes. But that was until they were reduced to _this_.

 _A god forsaking babysitters_.

And his sensei? Namikaze Minato, the famed Konoha’s Yellow Flash, a prodigy and fuinjutsu master, and the candidate for the Fourth Hokage title has been turned into an idiotic, doting father who’s completely whipped by both his daughter and wife. And also a crybaby to the boot.

For the last six months since the Blond’s birth, Team Minato has been stuck with _D rank missions_ (mostly babysitting). Every member of the team had varying reactions to this change. To their sensei, Minato claims it’s for team bonding. Rin believes it’s for research, research about parenting while Obito thinks their sensei simply wants an excuse to bring Naru-chan to missions (not that any of them are complaining, they absolutely adore the Blond, with exception of silver-haired Hatake). And for Kakashi? The entire thing was _a complete-utter bullshit._

Hence, Minato was forced to take missions outside the village once in a while lest he wants to see Kakashi commit _bloody murder_ , (most likely his). Still, Minato never failed to annoy the silver-haired Chuunin out of his mind with his overdramatic parting with Naruto.

* * *

_Flashback_

They’ve been in front of the Village gate _for hours_. The Chuunin guards are watching their antics in amusement. Not counting the waiting time before Obito’s arrival, Team Minato has been ready to leave the village for _more than an hour_. But of course, they had to wait for their sensei to finish his goodbyes (which is completely stupid in Kakashi’s opinion. They will only be out of the Village for _two days_ at most). 

“--There there. Naru-chan, don’t cry. I know. Daddy’s absolutely heartbroken that he has to leave. But, he’ll be back soon, okay?” 

A crying Minato wept while handing Naruto to his wife. The latter was rolling her eyes at his idiocy. Kakashi, on the other hand, was furiously glaring at his sensei. Kushina’s positive that his husband would’ve continued with his drama (and probably murdered by his prodigy student at one point) if Obito and Rin did not intervene. 

(Naruto never once cried whenever Team Minato left for missions.)

_End of Flashback_

* * *

Going back, What’s worse was Kakashi’s babysitting duties _did not end after missions_. Ever since he was forced to take up a permanent residence at the Namikaze household, the Blond devil (aka Naruto) demanded everyone’s attention (Yes, including his), no matter what time of the day. 

And Kakashi didn’t know why. However, the little imp seems to be more easily soothed when it’s Kakashi who’s rocking her to sleep _at 2 am_ (which became a routine). Meanwhile, his sensei is simply watched them with a sappy look on his face while nodding in approval.

Kakashi swears. One of these days, _there’s gonna be bloodshed_.

Hence, Kakashi’s most certainly not sulking. Not at all. He’s just _very displeased_ with the changes.

“Bakashi, Stop sulking and let’s go! I’m excited to see Naru-chan and eat Kushina-nee san’s cooking.” Kakashi huffed before following his stupid Uchiha teammate. 

(He’s not sulking. No matter what everyone seems to think otherwise)

* * *

The 6th month of an infant’s life usually marks the time when their first words were spoken. Hence, everyone claimed it calls for a celebration (It was a stupid excuse, in Kakashi’s humble opinion). So now... Here they are at the Namikaze household, commemorating the 6th monthsary of Naruto’s (the little devil according to Kakashi’s dictionary) birth. 

“Come on, Naru-chan. I know you can do it. Say Dad-dee” Minato coaxed patiently while sitting in front of Naruto. Obito was crouching next to him, making faces to elicit laughs from the Blond.

Naruto blinked at them owlishly before giggling. Obito pushed his sensei out of the way. 

“My turn! Naru-chan, how about try saying Bee-to”

“Babbu!” Naruto repeated happily while clapping. Minato, completely forgetting his previous endeavors, hugged the toddler while gushing how cute she was.

Despite the on-going madness, Kakashi noted that this is still quite calm by his standards. He hoped it would remain this way for the rest of the evening. Unfortunately, Kakashi’s wish was immediately shattered because the Young Uchiha had to open his stupid mouth.

“Well. I guess. Naru-chan's first word has to be her favorite.”

And so, _the fight was on._

‘Why is it that the youngest (with exception of Naruto) has to be the sane one in the crowd?’ Kakashi sighed in frustration.

(The two women in the group do not count. Rin’s already a lost cause. _Truly a shame._ With Kakashi being the sole voice of reason, there was only so much he could do to mitigate the craziness of his sensei, Obito, and the Toad Sannin. Kushina-san, on the other, was rather insane in an Uzumaki way. After all, anybody who tried to feed a baby, who’s not even a day old, with _ramen_ has definitely a few loose screws in the head.)

Kakashi heard them descend into chaos.

“Of course, I am Naruto’s Favorite. I am her awesome Godfathe--”

“Don’t be stupid sensei. I’m her father so--”

“Naru-chan, Naru-chan. Big brother Obito is your favo--”

Before the boys (read: idiots) could continue bickering, Kushina entered the room. One hand holding a spatula while the other was on her hips. Rin was closely following behind holding the dishes.

“Well, Boys... How about we ask Naru-chan who’s her favorite, hmm?”

Seeing that the red-haired Uzumaki would not take a ‘No’ for an answer, they instantly nodded furiously in agreement (with exception of Jiraiya who was smacked in the face with a spatula when he was about to give a lewd comment). Situating Naruto in the high chair comfortably, Kushina gently asked.

“So Naru-chan. Who’s your favorite here? Can you say their name for mommy?”

The toddler appears to be bewildered, slightly scrunching her nose in the question. Not that Kakashi cares much. Giving the scene one last look, Kakashi was about to hide in his room to save himself from further insanity when they all heard it.

“ _Ashi"_ The word was spoken slowly. Then Naruto brightened up, followed by an incessant cheerful repetition of ‘Ashi'

Kakashi stopped at his movements. Instead, he walked towards the toddler, looking absolutely dumbfounded. The rest are watching their interaction closely in anticipation (except Minato who is currently crying at the corner, completely heartbroken by his daughter’s betrayal.) 

When Kakashi was in front of Naruto, he pointed at himself before asking, “Me?”

“Ashi!” Naruto squealed in delight. Both hands extended in his direction, asking to be picked up. To which, this time Kakashi obliged.

“Huh. Who would have expected it? Good luck on consoling your sensei, kid.” Jiraiya (who was revived from the spatula affair) remarked while patting Kakashi’s left shoulder.

Glancing at his sensei who continued to despair in the corner, clouds of gloom hanging over his head, Kakashi gladly ignored him in favor of talking directly to the Blond toddler. 

“You’re definitely going to cause too much trouble when you grow up.” to which Naruto responded with a bubbly gurgling sound.

* * *

During one of the weekly dinner nights, Naruto spoke her second word. And predictably enough, it was ‘amen’ (read: ramen). Kushina was so proud, giving Naruto raspberry kisses. Meanwhile, Minato, once again, went to the corner to despair. This time completely inconsolable, no matter the efforts of his students (Obito and Rin).

And Kakashi? He continued eating but not without giving the toddler a proud smile, which Naruto returned with a cheery “Ashi!” After all, it didn’t matter much. He’s still and will always be Naruto’s favorite.

In the future, if anyone noticed the smug look on Kakashi’s face every time Naruto’s first words were mentioned (and Minato’s heartbroken expression), nobody wisely commented on it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Let me know your thoughts about it! Thank you so much <3
> 
> Ps. To LolieG: I'll do my best to write the Shisui/FemNaru as soon as possible. Thank you for your support!
> 
> Stay safe everyone.


	3. Heaven: Minato & Naruto

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Songfic AU.  
> "If we were to grant the wish we wished the most, someone else will lose something they hold close”
> 
> After the Infinite Tsukuyomi was lifted, some of the Shinobi were still awake to witness the choice the Rikudou Sennin offered to Naruto.
> 
> Or
> 
> The story where Naruto was asked to choose between his father and a stranger’s life. There really wasn’t much of a choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was so inspired by your comments, kudos and appreciation of this fic that I ended up writing another. Hahaha. Thank you all so much for the support!
> 
> This chapter is inspired by the song entitled Heaven covered by Rachie. I highly recommend listening to this song while reading or before (either way works). Here's the link for the song: https://youtu.be/IjUqO62LWn4

_**World** **3:**_

(Note: _**"Naruto"**_ \- denotes lyrics of the song)

Shikamaru groaned. He definitely felt like he’s been bulldozed by a truck and over. He noticed Temari beside him, leaning on his right shoulder. Sitting up, Shikamaru moved her gently so that her head would be lying on his thighs instead. He brushed a few hairs out of her face, a small smile forming at his lips. He heard the others moving.

“Ughhh. I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck ten times over.” Kiba moaned. Akamaru whined in agreement. 

“Kiba, Stop being so overdramatic.” Ino rolled her eyes while unconsciously leaning against Sai, who was smiling (creepily) at all of them. Shikamaru honestly felt the same. But, he’s not stupid enough to voice it out. Kiba simply stuck out his tongue in response.

Chouji and Hinata smiled at them. The latter is helping Yamato-taichou sit upright, while Sakura worked her magic on him. Shikamaru can sense the Young Kazekage approaching, no doubt to check over her sister. On his far-right, he could see Tsunade-sama healing the other Kages and Shinobis. And surprisingly, Kakashi is hunched over Sasuke’s shoulder. Meanwhile, Naruto is ecstatically conversing with the Reanimated Yondaime, who simply listened intently to his son in endearment. 

From the looks of it, aside from Team 7, the reanimated Hokages, and the weird floating guy, only Team 8 and 10, Sai, Yamato-san, the Kazekage, Fifth Hokage, and a few nameless Shinobis were awake. 

“--And then, and then. Kakashi-sensei and I--” However, before Naruto could finish whatever story he was retelling, The Rikudou Sennin cut in.

“Naruto--” He started “--I can grant you the one thing you yearn the most. After all, it’s the least you deserve from saving humanity from perishing.”

Naruto looked at him stupidly before responding, “Ramen?”

Silence. 

“YOU IDIOT!” Sakura sprinted next to his side and smacked Naruto in the head, _hard_. Minato chuckled beside his son. From a few meters away, Kakashi and Tsunade simply shook their heads in exasperation. But, there’s a definite fondness in their eyes. One by one, the Shinobi smiled with affection in their antics.

“But, Sakura-chan. _I’m starving_.” Naruto complained petulantly. 

“Idiot.” Sasuke sighed disappointingly (fondly). Naruto quickly spun around to face him. 

“What was that, Sasuke-teme?” Naruto remarked annoyingly which earned another punch from Sakura. Naruto childishly massaged the bruise forming in his poor head.

And with that, the entire battlefield fell into laughter.

Gaara is now standing next to Shikamaru, whispering how Naruto never changed, while helping his slowly awakening sister. Shikamaru grinned in affirmation (and warmth). Sakura, on the other hand, moved away from Naruto when the Rikudou Sennin approached closer. Instead, she went towards Sasuke and Kakashi-sensei. 

The Rikudou Sennin shook his head in amusement “No, Naruto. What I meant to say is--” he looked at Naruto seriously in the eye, “-- I could bring your father back to life.”

Both Blonds (aka Minato and Naruto) looked at him. Astonished. The former looking a little bit skeptical while the latter is full of eagerness and hope. 

“But you must understand, the Law of Life dictates: _To obtain something, anything, another of equal value must be lost_. In other words, another life must be given in return.” 

Everyone stilled, Naruto's smile froze in his face. The Yondaime appears to have expected the Rikudou Sennin’s response. Not that, any of them did not. After all, it seems to be too good to be true.

Minutes passed. They're still waiting for Naruto to speak up.

* * *

**“** **_By voicing all the feelings in my heart, I knew where I would wind up from the start”_ **

Naruto slightly wavered as he stood up, not looking at anyone as he brushed the dirt from his pants. His father, the Yondaime, followed his actions and straightened himself.

“You’re right. More than anything. Even more than wanting to be Hokage or bringing Sasuke back to Konoha--” Sasuke perked up at the mention of his name, intently listening to their conversation. (Technically, Everyone did.) 

“--More than anything else in the world. I... I wanted to be with my parents.”

Silence.

Nobody moved. Nobody breathed. There was only silence as they waited for the Blond to continue. Not a single Shinobi can honestly blame Naruto if he chose another person’s life to bring his father back. Naruto already did too much. He fought the war for them, protected them from further harm, stopped them from falling further into the effects of the Infinite Tsukuyomi. Naruto, he _saved_ all of them. Another life for the sake of his happiness? Even Shikamaru believed it wasn't too much of a price. Every single Shinobi went to this war, prepared to die. If Naruto truly wanted, it was the least they can do to repay their debts.

It took Naruto a few more moments of silence before they heard him continue.

“--But… That does not mean--” Naruto’s voice croaked “-- an innocent life must be sacrificed.”

At the end of that sentence, almost every Shinobi witnessing the scene burst into tears. Ino sobbed harder at Sai’s arm, muttering how stupid he is. Chouji crying beside them. Same with Kiba, who’s also hugging Akamaru. Shino may be silent, but droplets of tears are falling in his vest. Truth to be told, Ino felt ashamed. If she was in Naruto’s position, she might have accepted it, trade another life just to have another day _with his father_. 

“Stupid Naruto” Sakura whispered while furiously rubbing the tears out of her eyes. She is now crouching next to Sasuke-kun and Kakashi-sensei in an attempt to heal the two.

Some of them, like Sasuke, still can’t believe a person _like him exists_. Heck, Sasuke’s positive if the offer was given to him. He would have sacrificed everything to have Itachi back, _his only brother_. He could sense Kakashi-sensei tear up beside him with a proud smile on his face.

“I can’t believe him.” The awakened Temari wheezed out as she was supported by both Gaara and Shikamaru. Tears are brimming in the corner of their eyes. 

“That… that’s what makes him Naruto” The Young Kazekage muttered softly to which Shikamaru could only agree.

“Very well. If that’s your final decision--” The Rikudou Sennin closed his eyes as if waiting, but undeniably satisfied with the Blond’s answer “--I’ll give you a few more minutes to say your goodbyes.” 

* * *

**“** **_Bidding you goodbye, Bidding you goodbye, just tears me up inside”_ **

“Hey, Dad? I’m not really good at this… But, tell mum ‘I love her’ for me, will you? And, stop worrying too much. I’m eating other food aside from ramen--” 

Naruto laughed. But everyone knew it was empty. All of them, those who managed to stay awake after the Infinite Tsukuyomi was broken felt like they’re intruding. _This moment_. This moment solely belongs to Naruto and his father. Nobody else should witness this. However, none of them could tear their gaze away. 

“--Kakashi-sensei and Sakura-chan, even Tsunade Baa-chan always make sure that there are green, yucky vegetables on my plate. And--” Naruto continued on his ramblings, ignoring the existence of other Shinobis aside from his father.

* * *

**_“If we were to grant the wish we wished the most, someone else will lose something they hold close”_ **

Hinata hated all of it. She loathed the unfairness of it all, how cruel the world could be to him. Naruto-kun, he never deserved any of it. Beside her, she could hear Yamato-san mumbled a soft apology repeatedly towards Naruto-kun. She can’t blame him. Hinata could only follow his lead. None of them deserve to invade this moment, to witness such heartbreaking farewells. _But they still did_.

“--Just... Don’t worry too much. I can always handle it. After all, I’m the Yondaime’s and the Red Hot-Blooded Habanero’s son.” Naruto ended proudly, extending a fist bump in front of his father.

And by the end of his speech, Minato’s eyes are streaming with tears. Tears full of regret, joy, and pride. He reciprocated the fist with a faint ‘Thump’

With that, Minato started to glow in green and float. His soul slowly detaching from the nameless corpse.

* * *

**_“So I have to say, Goodbye to you now.”_ **

“I guess, that’s it--” Naruto scratched the back of his neck, eyes shut (too tightly) with a big (forced) smile on his face. “--You can now go to where Mom is… And Thank you, Dad.” 

With one last smile, Minato’s soul finally left their world. His father may not have said anything but Naruto understood. Words were no longer needed between them. The _smile_ his father gave him, it was enough for Naruto to understand. More than enough for him to hear his father’s final message.

_'No. Thank You, Naruto. I'm proud of you, son.'_

And just like that, the War Hero from Konoha fell on his knees and cried. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> So that was it. My attempt in angst. Hahaha. I hope you'll like it! Let me know your thoughts about it. But before ending my ramblings. I would like to give special thanks to AINsafira, Rei, mika88n, LolieG, and Duskwolf234. Thank you so much for the comments on the previous chapter! I seriously hope I didn't disappoint any of you with this one (blame the song. I was so hooked).
> 
> PS. It's actually the Law of Alchemy. But it feels appropriate. Lol.
> 
> Anyways, Thank you so much and Stay safeeee!


	4. Alien Invasion (Part 1): FemNaruto/?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Highschool AU. Multiple Pairings. 
> 
> In which the world got invaded by aliens and Naruto never got the memo.
> 
> OR
> 
> The story of pranking the Prank Queen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG. This fic actually reached 110 Kudos and 21 bookmarks. THANK YOU SO MUCH, especially for the comments! I am so happy I was able to communicate the song beyond a love story. As promised! This is a fluffy fic. Here it is. Enjoyyyy reading <3
> 
> Ps. BEWARE: This is a long one 3000k words. Hahaha

_ **World 4:** _

Chirp. Chirp.

It was a beautiful day. The birds were chirping happily, while Kurama (her pet cat) was snoozing blissfully beside her. Naruto stretched her limbs slightly, shifting to her sides for a more comfortable position. She was cackling evilly in her head, planning the pranks for her friends when she heard her mother called for her.

“Naruto! You’ll be late for school!” That’s her cue. Naruto got up and went down for breakfast.

In the dining area, Naruto gave her parents a peck in their cheeks as she greeted them. Kushina, her mother, was busy packing her lunch, while her father was silently sipping a coffee as he read through his morning papers. Naruto sat opposite to her father, devouring her food. Noticing someone’s missing, she was about to ask when Minato answered. 

“Your older brother left earlier. Muttering about teaching duties.”

‘That’s New.’ Naruto mused. But didn’t bother commenting, completely transfixed on her breakfast. Her father continued.

“Stay out of trouble, Naruto. I heard from Kakashi that you're walking on thin ice, with all your pranks. Better be careful for today.” Minato solemnly ended.

She snorted, waving her hand dismissively at her father’s remark and worries. After all, What could possibly go wrong?

(Famous last words, Naruto)

* * *

Today seems to be her _Lucky day_. Naruto arrived at the Academy with a few more minutes to spare. Walking briskly towards her class, she arrived in front of the room in no time. She was about to open the door when the screams stopped her.

“YOU! GOOD-FOR-NOTHING PIECE OF TRASH, I--”

“Hieee! Forgive me!”

 _Did those voices just sound like Hinata and Gaara?_ That’s not possible. Naruto shook her head in denial. Opening the door loudly, Naruto was just about to greet everyone enthusiastically when she froze in her tracks. The people in front of her were unmistakably her classmates and friends. However, the picture they were painting was certainly the _wrong one_.

 _There_. In the center of the room were two of her closest friends. Sweet, Innocent Hinata is threatening the life out of a furiously crying Gaara, screaming obscenities at him. Two tables away, the kind-hearted Chouji is cheering the typically meek Hyuuga to beat the Redhead in a bloody pulp. The normally stoic Neji is merrily laughing at his cousin’s antics, all the while, asking a virtuous Tenten “Are they playing a game? Hahaha” who only shrugged in response, totally unsympathetic.

Naruto’s brain just _short-circuited_ , gaping at the scene. 

(Un) Fortunately, she was broken from her fish-like stupor by an approaching Sasuke. _Thank God._ Naruto cried in relief (in her head) after noticing her childhood friend’s usual calm, smug demeanor.

“T-teme! What the--” 

“Naruto, I’ve been waiting for you--” Sasuke voiced smoothly in a husky tone as he held a handful of her hair, “--Even today, your beauty never fails to astonish.” Then, Sasuke kissed some strands of her hair in his hand while letting the others slip back.

 _The fuck?_ Naruto never got a chance to form any other coherent thought because Sasuke pulled out a rose from _God-knows-where_. 

(A long-stemmed, crimson rose in full bloom, sparkling under the sun’s rays, which smells like it’s been dipped to a bucket of perfume. All in all, it portrayed a very exotic look to Naruto.)

She heard him continue, “Although this rose could never compare, I--” holding out a rose in front of her “--wanted to show how much it pales next to you.” Sasuke ended with a _charming_ smile, (which totally creeped her out).

Naruto gave one look at the rose, then to Sasuke. And firmly, slammed the door _shut_.

* * *

 _Breathe._

Naruto’s not _hyperventilating_ , not at all. She’s just… calming her nerves from shock. _Yeah_. Naruto thought in agreement. Inhaling a deep breath, she took a step back, checked if it was really her room, and pinched her whiskered cheeks slightly. Yup. It was definitely her classroom and the pinch hurt. Cleary, _this_ , whatever _this nightmare_ her mind managed to create is _real_. 

And, her jittery nerves came back _stronger than ever_. 

To save her remaining sanity (not that Naruto’s very sane, to begin with) and prevent herself from passing out, Naruto decided. She’ll go home straight to her room, cuddle Kurama as she hides in the comfort of her sheets for the rest of the day, just to forget this _ever happened_. Tomorrow, she’s sure everything’s back to _normal_. That seems like a very good plan. Naruto mentally nodded in satisfaction. Sadly, before she could escape, a weight dropped on her shoulders and ruffled her hair fondly.

“Naru? What are you still doing here? Let’s go or we’ll be late for class.”

She looked up to see Shikamaru grinning at her, his right arm still slinging around her shoulders (first warning). Naruto had so many questions. Like what the hell happened to everyone or since when did he care about being late. Naruto’s positive that Shika has the answers (Because no matter how insane the world is, he will always be a genius). However, Naruto settled on the question that’s currently bugging her the most.

“Why are you sweaty?” (Because Shika’s never sweaty, he’s too lazy to move 90% of the time)

Shikamaru laughed raucously (second warning), like he had heard the best joke of the day.

“Naru, have you forgotten? I--” (Nope. Whatever it was, Naruto’s pretty sure she did not. She knew her friend like the back of her hand. Also, Shika never called her _Naru_ before. She desperately wanted to point that out, but settled on letting him finish) “--I’m a member of the track-and-field club. We just finished training.”

 _Okay_. To Naruto’s ears, that sounded so wrong on _so many levels_. First of all, Shika was never part of such clubs. Second, he _hated_ training. He-- 

She never got to finish her thoughts before she was dragged inside the room by her friend.

(Later, Naruto would forever deny the whimper that escaped her lips as they entered the room.)

* * *

Inside, Naruto was instantly greeted by a lovesick Sasuke, unconsciously touching the petals of the rose.

“Naruto, I. Nara--” Sasuke’s look turned murderous “--why are your arms around her?”

Shikamaru smirked. “Well. Why do you think, Uchiha?” He asked, obviously taunting as he pulled Naruto closer.

And that was the _last warning_. 

Before the matter could get any worse, Naruto removed Shika’s arms around her, turned her back on them, and walked stiffly towards Hinata (No. Hinata’s copy. Naruto’s mind supplied in denial) to save the poor Redhead in her hands, completely ignoring the existence of the two. 

(For the sake of her sanity, Naruto refused to acknowledge that Shika and Sasuke just _fought over her_. They were her _childhood friends_. Unfortunately, she totally missed the amused and evil smirks of the two when she turned around.)

 _Okay. Breathe, Naruto_. 

She chastised herself before interrupting the Mean Girl in her attempt to murder Gaara’s look-alike. Her mind fervently denied that _this_ _woman_ could be, in any way, Hinata. Her sweet, innocent, shy friend. Glancing at the Redhead, she decided that it was an _alien clon_ e of Gaara. Gaara may be kind and gentle, but he’s always composed, calm, collected, like the creepy laughing Neji (another alien) a few seats away. More importantly, Gaara _does not cry_ (nor beg for mercy.)

“Please let go of him. The class is about to start any minute.” Naruto interjected with a straight face. Naruto had absolutely no idea she was capable of such feat (until now). Nonetheless, it got their attention. The timid Ino was the first to speak up.

“N-naru-chan! Thank Heavens you’re here. Please stop them!” Naruto awkwardly smiled in acknowledgment, completely ignoring her stuttering and ‘-chan’ added to her name.

“Naru-chan! Save me!” pleaded by the Redhead. 

_There is it again_. The ‘-chan’ at the end of her name. Naruto briefly wondered if that’s how aliens refer to one another. Thankfully, before Naruto could hear obscenities directed at her by Hinata’s copy (or alien), the door slammed open by a very eager entrance of her brother, Kakashi-sensei.

“YOSH! Get back to your seats!” Kakashi-sensei made a fist bump at the air, “--we’re about to start our VERY YOUTHFUL lesson!” he ended with a large grin (which was so wrong on her brother’s face.)

Nevertheless, her friends followed. Not questioning the weirdness of it all. And Naruto? She mentally cried in despair. She’s pretty sure that the world either got invaded by aliens and replaced her friends with alien look-alikes or she died and went to hell. That’s the only _logical_ explanation. 

(Naruto’s leaning towards the former).

* * *

_Oh God, He’s singing._

Kakashi-sensei, her calm, lethargic brother who is typically too lazy to bother teaching any literature (aside from _Icha Icha Series_ ), is _singing_ as he recited the lines from a literary classic. 

_“--And Brutus is an honourable man. He hath brought many captives home to Rome. Whose ransoms did the general coffers fill: Did this in Caesar seem ambitious? When--”_

Naruto tuned him out. Any more of _that_ singing and she’s gonna have a heart attack (aside from being permanently deaf). Naruto scanned her surroundings, checking for her other friends who have also _gone mad_ (or abducted). Next to her, she saw Kiba doodling cats and lions on the sides of his notebook while Shino is discreetly spraying an anti-bug formula.

‘Okay. So, Kiba’s a cat-lover and Shino’s a bug-hater. _Two more aliens._ ’ Naruto noted in her mind. On the corner of her eyes, she can sense Sasuke sending her an intense look (Naruto refused to call it an _affectionate look_ because Sasuke is anything but _affectionate_ ). Abruptly, (alien) Hinata, interrupted her teacher.

“Sensei, Your performance sucks.” She lamely remarked to which his sensei gasped in monstrosity as a response.

Honestly? Naruto could not help but agree. However, Hinata’s copy is not supposed to point it out. Because Hinata’s _always polite_ and would do anything to spare anybody, even a stranger’s feelings. _Not like that_. From the back of the class, another voice chimed in venomously.

“Shut the fuck up, _bitch_.”

 _Oh God_. Naruto thought in horror. Her pure, gentle, polite friend, Haku has also been replaced by _this vile creature._

_One. Two. Breathe._

First Hinata, then Haku. Naruto’s _losing her mind_. She swears. If Itachi (her last remaining angelic friend) ever got abducted and was turned into something _like this_ , she’s gonna jump off the roof to save herself. Naruto closed her eyes. She profusely refused to believe that her two most holy friends are capable of _such vulgar words_. 

(Unfortunately, reality also refused to be denied)

“Who asked for your fucking opinion, _trash_? Huh?!” (alien) Hinata instantly rebutted, stomping her right foot on top of (alien) Haku’s desk.

 _And that’s the final push._

Naruto refused to hear more. She hastily stood up, effectively disrupting the escalating fight. 

“Kakashi-sensei, please excuse me for a bit.”

Without waiting for a reply, Naruto left the room _in a flash_.

(Once again, Naruto completely missed the waves of laughter and snickers that erupted when she was out of hearing sight.)

* * *

_Splatter._

Naruto furiously splashed her face with _cold, running water_ , in a futile effort to wake her up from this _twisted dream_ (Note: She ended up hiding in the restroom). After a couple more plashing, she stopped, brought out a towel to dry her face. Naruto heard someone enter. 

“Oh. Naruto, is your class currently on break?”

It was her crimson-haired senior cousin, Uzumaki Karin. She was about to say “no” but relented in favor of testing if the world is finally back to normal (or not).

“Yeah. Actually--” Naruto muttered under the towel, “--you’re free to see Sasuke-teme if you want.”

The temperature of the room _dropped_.

“Naru-chan,” Karin started (too) sweetly, ”why in the world would I ever want to see that _Uchiha scum?_ ” spatting the last words hissingly.

Silence.

‘Well, then. Looks like Alien invasion is still a thing’. Naruto ruefully conceded. Fortunately for her, Karin was finished with whatever her business. She was almost out of the door when her cousin spoke in an amused tone. 

“I would change if I were you.” she smiled teasingly, “I can see through your bra, cuz”

With that, Karin promptly left. And Naruto? She just wanted to look for a good corner to whimper. 

* * *

Outside the women’s restroom, she noticed her perverted Godfather nearby. The moment their eyes met, Naruto looked at him dead straight to his eye. 

“Please tell me you’re here peeking on the female’s restroom.”

(In hindsight, Naruto knows she should have asked for the _opposite_. At this point, she honestly couldn’t care any less. Naruto was _desperately hoping_ to encounter someone, _anyone_ , who’s still normal, no matter how insane their normal is.) 

Jiraiya blushed profusely, spluttering at her statement before he managed to wheeze out, “Wha-What _blasphemy_ are you talking about! I am Jiraiya, an Expert of Toads. The _most Chivalrous Sage_ that ever Lived!” Jiraiya covered his eyes before turning around, as if the view of his Goddaughter’s bra is a _crime_ , “I-I would never do something _atrocious as peeping on women_!”

This time, Naruto did not bother reacting. She left wordlessly.

(Naruto never thought she’d prefer her perverted Biology teacher/ Godfather over _that man_ ).

* * *

Naruto decided. She had _enough_. She’ll worry about her friends and family on another day. For now, _she’s going home (come hell or high water)_. But before that, she needs to change lest she wants her mother fussing about her. Thus, she made a detour towards the dressing room. 

This time, she is prepared to face whatever insanity the aliens had brought. After that _encounter_ with her (alien) Godfather, Naruto’s pretty sure things couldn’t get _any weirder_ (right?)

(Famous last words, Naruto)

* * *

Finally arriving at the dressing room, Naruto excitedly opened the door, only to be greeted by the sight of Rock Lee fitting on a bra (Is that Tenten’s bra? Naruto _instantly erased_ such thoughts) while Kankuro helped him.

Silence.

Without wasting any second, Naruto promptly closed the door and walked away.

(This time, Naruto indeed went to find a corner to cry, completely forgetting her plan to leave the Academy.)

* * *

In the end, Naruto winded up behind the bushes of the Academy’s old (abandoned) building, head hiding behind her knees. 

(In retrospect, Naruto might have overreacted. But in her defense, she had _seen more than enough_ to _scar her for life_. Hence, crying and hiding is a perfectly _justified_ solution.)

_Rustlings._

Soft footsteps were echoing on her ears. However, it was the melodious voice that had broken Naruto out of her bubble of gloom. 

“Naruto? What are--” the voice stopped.

“Tachi?” she looked up from her pitiful position, only to see Itachi removing his sweater before giving her a ghost smile. When he was next to her, Itachi crouched to put his sweater around her shoulders. Naruto gave him a questioning look. 

“It’s highly improper for a lady--” Itachi fixed the sweater to fit her properly before clearing the few leaves away from her hair “--to be in seen public with such condition.” Itachi chided gently as his lips made a small upward quirk.

Naruto blushed, remembering her current state. She always kinda hated it about her other childhood friend. The older Uchiha always had his means to make her self-conscious. (Un) Fortunately, earlier events came flooding into her (completely forgetting her current embarrassment).

“ _Oh God_. Itachi. The _Invasion_ , Everyone--” Naruto became a spluttering mess, arms flailing “--even Sasuke and Shika. _Aliens_ , I--”

“Naruto, _Breathe_.” Itachi immediately pacified. Not giving her a chance to continue, he straightened himself and added.

“How about you tell me your story--” Itachi offered a hand to help her stand up, “--after a cup of hot Cocoa?” Naruto weakly nodded before accepting his hand. Itachi fondly brushed the few strands of her hair away from her face.

_Rustlings._

Another person seems to be approaching. Glancing at the direction of the sound, Naruto saw Kisame with his usual smirk and wooden katana hanging over his shoulders.

“Perfect timing--” Itachi started, “Kisame dear--”

_What the actual fuck?_

“--will you be a sweetheart and boil some hot Cocoa for Naruto?”

Did Itachi, the _Uchiha Itachi_ just called--

She never got to finish her thoughts because Kisame is already in front of them.

“Of course--” Kisame started kneeling on one knee, “--Anything for you, _My King_.” he ended with a kiss on Itachi’s right hand to which the Older Uchiha responded with a chuckle.

And that was the _last straw_. 

Naruto’s mind. Just. Broke. 

She did the only thing she can think of: Naruto _fainted_ on the cold, unforgiving ground.

(Mutters of “Did the brat finally broke?", “Shut up, Kisame” and a shout of “I didn’t even get a chance to debut!” can be heard in the background. Although, Naruto never got a chance to catch any of it.)

* * *

“Naru-chan, wakey-wakey. I wanna--”

“Oi. Dope--”

“Sasuke, it’s not nice--”

“This is too troublesome. Naruto--”

“Oi! Uchiha brat, my goddaughter better--”

“Think we kinda overdid--”

“Umm. I think Naruto-chan is waking--”

When Naruto finally came to her senses, multiple voices and conversations can be made out in her surroundings. _Too many voices_. Naruto mentally moaned (It honestly kinda made her feel dizzy) as she sat up. She felt Hinata and Haku supporting her gently from both sides. 

From the looks of it, Naruto is at the infirmary. Almost every one of her (abducted) friends and family were present. Sitting next to her bed is Hinata and Haku, both wearing a warm smile. Gaara is near the door with Tenten, Neji, and Jiraiya. Her adopted brother was flipping a page of _Icha-Icha Make Out_ while leaning beside the window frame. Shikamaru, Sasuke, and Itachi not far behind. Ino, Sakura, Chouji, Kiba, and Shino were also somewhere nearby. Naruto guessed school has been over.

She gasped, “Wh-what happened?”

Sasuke snorted before supplying, “You. You being an idiot, Dope”

“Sasuke. Be nice.” Itachi instantly scolded to which Sasuke rolled his eyes in response. 

“You _fainted_ , Naruto.” Shikamaru answered her while drawling his words lazily, “Remember what happened?”

Naruto’s eyes widened in recognition. With a hint of panic, she asked.

“Did the _Aliens_ finally _left_?”

Silence. 

And then, everyone burst into hysterical fits of laughter. Some even had tears in their eyes from guffawing (aka Jiraiya, Kiba, Ino, Sakura, and Tenten). Those who tried to politely stifle their laughter failed miserably (aka Hinata, Itachi, Haku, and Gaara) while the rest snickered. 

“Where the hell--” Kakashi-sensei managed to choke out while giggling like a schoolgirl “--did you get that idea? Naru-chan?”

Naruto took _one good look_ at them before declaring, “I’m going home.” She stood up, ignoring the calls of surprise (and sniggers) from her friend; and left without looking back.

* * *

When Naruto was already halfway from her house (and finally out of everyone’s sight), promises of revenge against everyone can be heard from her. She might not have realized it immediately. However, after the _infirmary affair_ , Naruto knows a _prank_ when she sees one. Her friends and families might have won this time, but Naruto swears. _She will have the last laugh_.

After all, Nobody gets away messing with the _Prank Queen_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I know, it's kinda long (I honestly wanted to make it shorter. Just didn't know how). Btw, how many pairings did you manage to see? Hahaha. Also, I'm actually thinking of a sequel (Part 2), regarding the POV of the pranksters. Let me know your thoughts about it (especially anything I can improve on)! And really, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE COMMENTS AND REACTIONS. Always stay safe!
> 
> PS. I just realized, Naruto's POV is sooooo hard to write. Kudos who can grasp her character easily.


	5. The Proposal: Kakashi/FemNaruto/Shisui

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary:  
> Time Travel AU. Oblivious FemNaruto. In which Naruto traveled back into the past. Minato becomes an overprotective brother. Kakashi and Shisui have a (not-so) secret crush. And Itachi beats them in a proposal. Chaos ensued.
> 
> Preview:  
> Every single Shinobi is currently waiting for his question. However, Nobody, as in nobody, was ever prepared to answer Itachi’s next question.
> 
> “Then, If nobody will--” Itachi turned away from Shisui to face Naruto, tugging the hem of her shirt. The Blond glanced at him inquisitively. “--Naru-nee chan. Will you marry me?” The 4-yr. old Uchiha heir asked earnestly.
> 
> And that's when the room exploded into chaos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! 
> 
> Thank you so much for your comments and kudos <3 Unfortunately, this is not part 2. Hahaha. Still. Hopefully, you'll enjoy it. Have fun! And please let me know your thoughts. 
> 
> Once again, Thank youuuuu

**_ World 5: _ **

Fugaku’s having the _migraine of the century_. 

His son, Uchiha Itachi, the heir of the Uchiha Clan who’s barely half a decade old, is about to be _murdered in cold blood_ by Sakumo’s prodigy brat, Hatake Kakashi, and his very own genius cousin, Uchiha Shisui. To make matter worse, none of the other adults in the room are helping. They are either too busy stifling their giggles (aka Kushina and Mikoto) or _too stupid_ (aka Minato) and ended up joining this _stupid quest_ to kill his son.

‘Again, how did things escalate into _this?’_

Fugaku mentally lamented in frustration. _Right_. Minato and his lost sister (She should have stayed lost in Fugaku’s humble opinion), Namikaze Naruto, _existed_. Ironically, Itachi’s sole defense against his impending doom is Naruto, the _prime cause_ of his son’s demise and Fugaku’s headache, the very reason how a _simple_ dinner affair turned into something like _this_.

A _fucking glaring contest_ between Minato, Kakashi, and Naruto where his son would most likely end up as _collateral damage_ on his very _own_ birthday. 

Fugaku inwardly groaned in vexation. It was never in his nature to hold anyone responsible without much of a thought. Being the head of the Konoha Police Force naturally ingrained to him that judgment must be based on solid pieces of evidence. Still, Fugaku blames this _entire situation_ to Minato’s genetic idiocy, which multiplied a hundred folds in the form of his devil-of-a-sister, _Naruto._

He really should never have agreed on this stupid celebration. Any event involving the Namikaze siblings is bound to _end in chaos_.

After all, Fugaku’s certain that it was all an _innocent question_ on Itachi’s part. 

* * *

_Flashback_

_An Hour Ago_

Both members of Team Minato (Obito, Rin, Kakashi) and Team Kushina (Shisui, Ensui, Naruto), plus a Young Genma and Anko are currently at the Uchiha compound for the celebration of the Young Uchiha heir’s fourth Birthday. Obito and Anko are bored out of their minds, further aggravated by Genma’s usual wisecracking. On the other hand, Rin and Shisui are entertaining the celebrant as Kakashi studies a scroll about lightning Jutsus. Meanwhile, Naruto and Ensui are engaged in a serious game of Shogi (or was). 

_Checkmate._

“Goddam--”

“Naruto, Language.” The 11 yr. Old Shisui chided as he covered the ears of his young cousin, Itachi. Rin also looked at her reprimandingly.

“--it! I want a rematch, Ensui!” The Nara simply shrugged. He may be lazy but Ensui wasn’t one to deny a game of shogi. Besides, his Blond teammate is indisputably getting better. Before any game could recommence, the Snake apprentice intervened.

“Naruto! This is stupid! Let’s do something else, something fun!” Anko exclaimed boisterously while Obito strongly nodded in agreement. This earned an eye roll from the rest (with exception of Naruto).

“Nuh-uh. I have to practice or else I won’t improve.” the Blond instantly rebutted as she arranged the pieces on the board. Predictably, it was Obito who bugged her next.

“Naru-chaaaaan. Why are you even so obsessed with Shogi these past few days?” 

Hearing no response, the Uchiha turned to his conceited teammate (in Obito’s opinion) and cousin for answers. Those two practically knew everything about his friend. After all, it was no secret to anyone that Shisui and Kakashi are _infatuated_ with the Blond. (Un) Fortunately, the supposable receiver of their affection is _too dense_ or _too obsessed with Ramen_ (Obito honestly believes it’s the latter) to notice anything. Shisui simply shrugged before continuing his business while Kakashi ignored his idiot teammate (as usual). Obito was about to explode when Genma cut in.

“You know, if we didn’t know any better, it would appear as if you’re practicing to _impr_ ess someone on Shogi.” Genma absentmindedly commented. In all honesty, the Senbon Genin did not expect any reaction. In fact, none of them expected _this response_.

Namikaze Naruto, the prodigy sister of Konoha’s Yellow Flash, _blushed_ and spluttered in response.

“D-don’t be stupid! Y-you Senbon sucker! I--” everybody, with the exception of Kakashi and Itachi, gawked at the Blond. The former instantly dropped his scroll as his full attention switched to the speaker. “--Gaah! I DON’T HAVE A CRUSH!” 

Silence. 

Well. Wasn’t that a _load crap of denial_? Shisui inwardly noted as he pushed down the dark bubble of jealousy from the pit of his stomach. Glancing at his best friend, there’s already an evident hint of envy in his features. Shisui can’t really blame him. After all, neither Kakashi nor Shisui play a _goddamn Shogi_. So it’s definitely a _Nara_. However, the real question is _who_? Eyeing his teammate, Shisui doubts it’s Ensui, still--

A young, innocent voice broke Shisui’s musing.

“What’s a crush?” Itachi curiously inquired. Shisui would have answered his cousin if he wasn’t _too preoccupied_. Nevertheless, this question was enough to break the rest out of the group from their shock. 

“OMG! Who is it!” Anko interrogated as she tackled the Blond while Obito demanded an answer with an ear-splitting “SPILL!”

Sensing the negative aura oozing from Hatake and the other Uchiha, Genma _almost_ regretted his smart-ass remark and pitied the Blond (keyword: almost). But, Genma was never one to deny a pandemonium (especially if he’s just an observer). In the background, Rin can be heard answering the questions of the Young Itachi.

Meanwhile, the Nara’s eyes are glinting calculatingly before it perked up with realization. Dismissing the ongoing ruckus in front of him, Ensui decided to test his hypothesis (unknowingly complicating the situation.)

“Naruto--” he drawled to capture her attention,”--is it, the Head?” Instantly, all eyes snapped into him, urging to continue. 

“Our Clan Head, Nara Shikaku, Yoshino-san’s fiancee?” Ensui slightly paused before offering, “Your crush?”

In a blink, Naruto’s whiskered cheeks burned even _hotter_. 

‘Huh. Guess that settle’s it.’ Ensui mentally concluded. However, it seems that Naruto’s blush isn’t the only one that has worsened. Obito and Anko instantaneously fell into hysterical fits of snickers while Genma smirked wildly as he spoke. 

"Naruto. It’s not like I care much about the holder of your affection--” In that statement, Naruto squeaked like a dying pig, “--But, I’m curious. What did you like about him in the first place?”

It took the Blond in question a minute to respond.

Stuttering with a shy tone, she voiced. “W-well. It’s o-only a small ad-admiration--” Naruto fumbled over the hem of her shirt before continuing, “--It’s just... He’s so smart. I mean, the members of the Nara Clan are naturally smart. But, Shikaku-sama--” 

“- _-sama?_ ” Kakashi and Shisui echoed venomously. Both raising an eyebrow at the respectful title.

“--I mean. H-he’s smart like genius levels you know. Can’t really help but admire him a little bit for it.” Naruto ended blushing furiously. 

The trio (aka Obito, Anko, and Genma) roared in laugher while Rin softly giggled next to Itachi (The poor boy seems to be so lost with their conversations but settled on listening, silently observing their interactions). Ensui, on the other hand, can’t help but smirk. Unfortunately, it was instantly wiped out the moment it graced his lips. Noticing the dirty looks directed at him (courtesy of Kakashi and Shisui), Ensui honestly wondered why him. From the looks of it, he’d better do something (and quick) lest he wanted to be an unwilling scapegoat. _Troublesome._

(Too bad, Ensui’s valiant attempt to mitigate the situation became the _catalyst of the chaos_ ).

* * *

Obito _can’t breathe_.

He’s literally laughing his ass out, _hard_. Ever since the Blond appeared in Konoha 5 yrs. ago, every single day has been filled with so much _adventure_. Also, seeing Naruto irritate (and charm) Kakashi out of his mind is just a _huge bonus_. Speaking of his teammate, he’s turning _green in envy_. Obito further cackled wildly. He heard the Nara cleared his throat.

“Naruto. It’s not that I’m opposed to _your attraction_. But--” The glares directed at him multiplied ten folds at the term ‘attraction’. The Nara hesitated, choosing his next words wisely.“--wouldn’t it be better to choose somebody, still genius-smart, _but closer to our age_?” 

Naruto snorted. Her previous embarrassment completely forgotten.

“Please, Ensui. The only geniuses in Konoha are _the Naras_ and my _brother_. No offense, but you’re not exactly _my type_.” 

(For some unknown reason, Naruto seems to forget that Kakashi was known as the Hatake’s youngest prodigy while Shisui is the Uchiha genius.)

“ _Oh God_. This is golden. I--” Anko cackled evilly pointing at the two (aka Kakashi and Shisui) “--I’m gonna die *pfft* laughing.”

“Then die.” Kakashi harshly growled before smacking the Blond in the head. 

“Hey! What’s your issue Bakashi?!” Naruto yelped while massaging her assaulted head. This only earned a petulant huff from the silver-haired Chuunin. Shisui, on the other hand, is rubbing his temples in exasperation. _Yes._ Both he and Kakashi absolutely adore their Blond best friend. Heck, he believed that they might actually _love her_ at this point. But Naruto, she’s _too blind_ (read: stupid) to see it. They might not be the type to boast their intelligence. B _ut._ Shisui's positive that they _fit the criteria_. He mentally bemoaned in frustration. Seeing the growing pandemonium, Ensui, once again, started to speak up in a (read: futile) effort to control it. 

“No, Naruto. What I meant is someone--” The Nara decided, ‘S _crew with it_ ’ Naruto wouldn’t understand subtlety even if it _slaps her in the face_. “--genius-level smart at our age, like _Kakashi_ and _Shisui_ for example.”

Cue. The two loverboys (read: lovesick idiots) blushed at the mention of their names.

And Naruto? She blinked owlishly at them. Ensui surrendered. He did his part. Let the others try to contain _this_ situation (not that, any of them were trying).

Genma, being his usual self, offered another sardonic remark, which only added as fuel.

“With how stupid you are, you’ll never get married” the Senbon Genin barked mockingly. Unfortunately, before the insulted Blond could reply, another voice permeated the area. 

“There’s _no marriage_ happening on my watch.”

* * *

Minato warned them _dangerously_. His furious scowl seems to be directed at Kakashi and Shisui. The other adults are following closely behind them, namely Fugaku, Mikoto, and Kushina. 

Rin rolled her eyes at their antics. 'Boys. And their territorial instincts. _'_ She was abruptly interrupted when she felt a soft tugging of her clothes. Ignoring the madness in front of them, the Medic-nin glanced at the Young Uchiha and saw a puzzling look. Rin’s eyes soften, crouching at the level of the child. 

“What is it, Ita-kun?” the Medic-nin asked with a smile.

“What does marriage mean?” Itachi inquired seriously. 

"It's... Umm--" _Now_. Rin is in a pinch. Truth to be told, she doesn’t have the slightest idea of how to explain marriage beyond “adults getting together officially.” Thankfully, the mother of the boy answered for her.

“Well, Itachi--” Mikoto gently started, “--when two people love each other, like your father and I” She smiled, fondly stroking his son's hair. “We get married so the law would recognize our love and never tear us apart.” 

“And they live happily-ever-after, dattebane!” Kushina excitedly supplied. Fugaku rolled his eyes at the Redhead's childishness. 

Itachi appeared to be pensive before clarifying, “So it’s like to ensure that the other will never leave them?” This time it was Rin who answered. 

“Well. You could say it like that--” The other women nodded in affirmation.“-- Why do you ask, Ita-kun?” the Medic-nin probed curiously. However, the child in question seems to be too engrossed in the ongoing ruckus in front of them. Rin shifted her focus towards the child’s current fixation. They heard Kakashi scoffed.

“As if anyone would ever want to marry that Idiot.” the silver-haired Chuunin finished while crossing his arms. At that statement, the Young Uchiha Heir started walking towards them. Rin was about to stop him (lest he gets caught in the crossfire) but Mikoto halted her. 

“Why YOU--”

However, the rest of Naruto’s words were tuned out when Itachi directly asked the silver-haired Chuunin. 

“Why would you say that, Kakashi-nii?” Itachi slightly bent his head in confusion. 

For once, Kakashi is tongue-tied. Fortunately for him, Shisui came to his rescue, kneeling in front of his cousin.

“Hahaha. Kakashi’s just kidding--” Mutters of ‘Denial’ and ‘He’s just being an idiot’ can be heard, which Shisui (and Kakashi) effortlessly ignored, ”--He doesn’t really mean it.” he offered with a grin. 

Seeing the cute, curious look on his baby cousin, Shisui’s earlier jealousy subsided. Right now, He decided to focus on Itachi. After all, it is his birthday. So Shisui will let Kakashi deal with the Namikaze siblings and their antics. Analyzing his baby cousin, although he appears to be unconvinced, Itachi doesn’t push any further. Instead, he looks to be reflective.

'Seems like another question is coming.' Shisui mused amusingly. 

Every single Shinobi is currently waiting for his question. However, _Nobody_ , as in nobody, was ever prepared to answer _Itachi’s next question_.

“Then, If nobody will--” Itachi turned away from Shisui to face Naruto, tugging the hem of her shirt. The Blond glanced at him inquisitively. “--Naru-nee chan. Will you marry me?” The 4-yr. old Uchiha heir asked earnestly.

Silence.

Naruto was the first to recover from her shock, cooing at Itachi as she spoke.

“Awww. Ita-kun, of course Mumfp!--”

And that's when the room _exploded into chaos_.

Kakashi instantly clamped Naruto's mouth, effectively stopping whatever _nonsense_ she is spouting, all the while, glaring at Itachi. Shisui, on the other hand, instinctively pulled his baby cousin away from Naruto, stiffening as he recalled the earlier _declaration_. Genma and Ensui promptly sniggered at their friends' antics. Meanwhile, Minato glowered menacingly at the Young Uchiha heir, screaming his objections at Fugaku's face. The latter appears to be using his _every control_ to stop himself from suffocating the Blond. Mikoto, Kushina, and Rin erupted into giggles while Anko and Obito howled in laughter. 

And Naruto? The sole person responsible for the _entire mess_ finally managed to free herself from Kakashi, vehemently scowling for his attempted murder by suffocation (all in Naruto's opinion), which led to _Fugaku's current distress_. 

_End of the Flashback_

* * *

_Stare._

Kakashi is having an _intense staredown_ with Naruto. His glare is furiously shifting between her and the young Uchiha heir in Shisui’s arms. If looks could kill, Fugaku’s positive that his son would be _dead_ six times over (and more). Despite the inscrutable expression of Shisui, his firm grip on Itachi’s clothes and the tensing of his shoulders are _clear indications_ that Shisui's line of thinking is currently parallel to the Hatake brat. Fugaku's convinced that if Shisui was a lesser man (child?), his silent animosity would have been directed full force towards Itachi (and his son would be in _a world of pain_ , at this very moment). Minato is being the idiot adult in the crowd (as usual). Fugaku noted. Glancing at the rest who were silently waiting for the scene to unfold behind their stifled giggles (or cackling for Anko's case), _Fugaku had enough._

He will not risk losing his son over something foolish, such as _Preteen Jealousy_. He will put a stop to this nonsense. _Fugaku refused to lose his heir_.

"Itachi" He sternly began, drawing the attention of the others. "You will _not_ be marrying Naruto. Your request is completely _void._ I will not accept a ' _No'_ for an answer--" Fugaku cut the Blond before she ever got a chance to speak. "--from _any of you_. This discussion is _over_." The Uchiha Clan Head ended with his _You-Will-Obey-Me_ or _There-will-be-Dire-Consequences_ tone. 

And so, the second wave of chaos was successfully avoided (despite the evident disappointment from the others aka the audiences). The celebration finally proceeded as planned (with minor changes such as Naruto and the Young Itachi should be constantly at least 5-feet apart)

In the end, Itachi _never_ understood why his request was vigorously and instantly shot down. All he ever wanted was to make her Big Sister promise that she will stay by his side. 

Because even at a mere age of 4, Itachi understood that Big Sister Naruto has _zero self-preservation_ and has a _tendency to get herself killed_ , either by her enemies or her friends (whoever comes first. It will most probably the latter).

* * *

_OMAKE_

Ever since that _fateful_ incident, Shisui and Kakashi have been _extremely cautious_ of Itachi, especially the Uchiha heir's interactions with Naruto (They were never left alone since then). Shisui decided, they definitely _need_ to step up their game. The proposal might be an innocent question from Itachi's part. However, both Kakashi and Shisui knew a _threat_ when they see _one_. Besides, innocence has its own charm. 

Kakashi and Shisui will not go down _without a fight_.


	6. Charmed by the Hokage (Part 1): Naruto & Everyone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alcoholic Naruto AU.
> 
> In which Hokage Naruto discovered his love for alcohol due to the stress of paperwork, despite being incapable of being drunk, pissing Everyone off.
> 
> OR
> 
> The story where the Gang made it their personal mission to intoxicate the Hokage with Alcohol (They had absolutely no idea what they signed up for).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I honestly can't thank you guys enough for all the comments and kudos! But really, THANK YOU SO MUCH <3 
> 
> So a little background of this chapter, it's actually inspired by a One Piece fanfic entitled "Charmed by the Captain." You should try it if you're also into One Piece. Anyways, This is the first half. I promise the next chapter will be the sequel. Enjoy reading! Let me know your thoughts by the end of it. Hihihi

**_World 6:_ **

_Sometime in the Future_

Scribble. Scribble.

“Naruto--” Sakura stole the bottle from his hand, ignoring the indignant protest of ‘Hey, that’s mine!’ effortlessly “--You shouldn’t really drink this much sake. It’s not healthy for you.” she ended reprimandingly. 

“Dope. Listen to her.” His stoic Anbu guard/ex-teammate immediately added from the unknown porch he was hiding. Leaning beside the window of the Hokage’s tower, the Rokudaime spoke.

“You should listen to your teammates, Naruto--” Kakashi flipped a page of his favorite book, “--it’s also unbefitting for the Hokage to be a drunkard.” he absentmindedly chided. 

Uzumaki Naruto, the Seventh and Youngest Kage of Konoha, snorted. 

“Please, Kaka-sensei--” Naruto stopped his scribblings and looked at them amusingly, “--as if you can use the Hokage excuse. First of all, you dumped _all this paperwork_ to me. Second, You were reading Icha-Icha during the Kage’s meeting. Also, Baa-chan--” he pointed out dryly,”--drank all the time when she was the Hokage. Besides--" Naruto paused to give emphasis, "--in case you have forgotten, _I can’t get drunk_.”

“Dickless, I think you’re missing the point of Ugly, Traitor, and Pervy Captain.” 

Sai remarked emotionlessly, which earned a vicious glare from the former two. Yamato instantly halted Sakura’s attempt to smack Sai with her clipboard, while Kakashi-sensei sighed as he caught the shuriken thrown by the Uchiha. Naruto shrugged at them before drawing another bottle of Sake from his secret stash. 

Shikamaru rolled his eyes at Team 7’s antics. _Some things never change._ The Young Advisor rubbed his temples in exasperation. His team (aka Yamato-sensei, Sai, Kiba, and Ino) was only supposed to update the Hokage regarding their trip from Kumo and the treaties while Sakura submitted her request for Medical supplies. Beside him, he heard Kiba whine 

“It’s not fair.” He complained petulantly. “How come you’re not even tipsy. That’s like your third--” 

“--Fourth” Ino corrected in a deadpan manner.

“--okay. _Fourth_ bottle since we arrived.” Kiba eyed the bottle in Naruto’s hand as if it’s evil, “And it’s only been an hour!” he pointed out outrageously.

Shikamaru grimaced at the loudness of the Inuzuka. The Blonde in question simply grinned foxily after taking another large gulp of sake. 

“Perks of being me.” Naruto proudly remarked, earning multiple eye-rolls in the room. “Anyways. If you’re all done with your reports, You can now leave me and my sake alone--” he waved his hand dismissively not bothering to look at his guests, before ordering, “--All of you, Shoo.” 

At that, everyone twitched in annoyance. After a few more seconds, Ino huffed, dragging Kiba by his ear before the Inuzuka could make a comeback. Sai and Akamaru followingly mutely behind them while Yamato-sensei and Sasuke body flickered to God-knows-where. Before leaving the door, Ino made eye contact with Sakura. A silent understanding passing through them. With that, they left. 

“My--” Kakashi drawled lazily, “--looks like they’re planning something evil.” 

“Let them.” Naruto replied amusingly before looking at Shikamaru in the eye, ”Need anything else, Shika?”

The Young Advisor shook his head. He left the Tower with a soft mumble of ‘Troublesome’, earning a heartily laugh from the Hokage.

* * *

_Outside the Tower_

“The fuck! Ino--” Kiba fruitlessly tried to remove the hand from his ear “Will You *ow* STOP dragging me!” he moaned in pain. She stopped.

“Right--” Ino let go of Kiba’s ear while the other caressed it, “I forgot. Sorry.” She apologized, completely unrepentant. The Inuzuka glared at her harshly until a voice interrupted them.

“Ino. What did you want from me?” Sakura asked impatiently. Although their current relationship was a lot better compared to the past, the rivalry between the two still persists. Sai and Shikamaru finally caught up with them. The Blonde grinned at them ferally.

“Sakura. Aren’t you curious to see a drunk Naruto?” she inquired almost evilly. Kiba instantly perked up beside her. The Pink-haired Medic Nin looked thoughtful for a minute before shaking her head.

“It won’t work--”

“--This is stupid,” Shikamaru commented in the background.

“--You and I both know that his alcohol tolerance is _insanely high_. I honestly think Naruto's incapable of being intoxicated” Sakura sighed defeatedly. Truth to be told, Sakura was _extremely curious_. Unfortunately, they tried it before, failing miserably. Instead of getting Naruto intoxicated, he ended up out-drinking _all of them_.

* * *

_Flashback_

It was the night when Naruto was officially instated as the Seventh Hokage. They went to the Ninja Party Bar to celebrate. Everyone was there. The entire Konoha 12 (Yes. They managed to bribe Sasuke) plus Sai, their Jounin-instructors, Iruka-sensei, Tsunade, and Shizune-san, Konohamaru and his minions, even the Sand siblings were present. All in all, it was a simple happy gathering of Naruto’s closest friends and family… Until Kiba opened his big mouth. 

Clang. Clang.

Kiba banged the utensils together to get everyone’s attention. He cleared his throat before speaking.

“Well. Before anything else--” Kiba raised his glass and howled, “--Cheers to our New Hokage! To _Uzumaki Naruto!_ ” 

Every present Shinobi followed his lead, multiple shouts and praises of ‘Congratulations,’ ‘You definitely earned it’ in various ways can be heard all over the room. To which, the Blonde sheepishly smiled and blushed as he accepted their compliments. However, their congratulations and applauds were cut short when Kiba continued.

“As much as the Blonde Idiot--” Naruto instantly objected, causing most of the occupants to laugh, “--deserve it, let’s resume it for some other time. For now--” 

“--he’s gonna say something dumb” Sakura deadpanned, to which Shino, Shikamaru, Neji, and Sasuke nodded in confirmation. Kiba effortlessly ignored them. 

“--Let’s have a game! A Drinking Contest--” The Godaime’s exclamation of ‘Count me in!’ was instantly shot down by both of her apprentices (aka Shizune and Sakura). “--Naruto vs Konoha 11 plus Sai! Oh. The others can be the referees (read: caretakers)” Kiba looked at them expectantly, ”--So... are you in?” 

In an instant, multiple contradicting statements could be heard.

“No.” 

"YOSH! With my flames--"

“Umm. Kiba-kun, I’m not sure if--”

“This is ridiculous. Hinata-sama--”

“Sure. Count me--”

“This is too troublesome--”

“Don’t be such a party pooper, Shika--”

However, all of those voices were immediately silenced once the Hokage answered.

“I don’t mind. I’m in. Unless you’re all _chickening out_ of me” Naruto ended with a feral grin. With that, all the previous objections were forever forgotten. Multiple bets about ‘Who will fall first’ or ‘The last one standing’ were going everywhere in the room. Once the drinks were served, the game commenced.

_Four Hours Later_

Everyone was drunk. Well, everyone except Naruto. 

Kurenai-sensei could be seen helping a hopeless, giggling Shino while eyeing her other (insane) male student, exhaustedly. Kiba was at the center of the bar, _shirtless_. All the while, posing like a (disgusting) ballerina as he sang ‘Dancing Queen’ with the Hyuuga prodigy, Neji. Gai-sensei was in another corner panicking as he consoled a depressed Lee, who kept on muttering ‘I wanna be a clam. I don’t deserve to live’ over and over. Yamato-taichou was in the same boat, but with Sai. The ex-Root member seems to be undecided between laughing or crying and settled on doing both (It was _absolutely disturbing_ ). 

(Somewhere during the game, the Sand siblings, Konohamaru and his minions had left. Something about they had to leave early for tomorrow and missions.)

Meanwhile, Hinata, Sakura, and Ino were on a screaming match about _God-knows-what_. It took the combined efforts of Tsunade, Shizune, Iruka-sensei and both the Yamanaka and Hyuuga Clan Heads to prevent the trio from completely obliterating the bar (Their destructive powers would have put Pain's Invasion into shame). The last member of Team Gai, on the hand, kept on petulantly demanding a piggyback from Genma (The poor Senbon Jounin doesn’t know what to do.) Even the typically composed Kakashi and the Retired Advisor were not spared. Naruto, Shikaku, and Kakashi were currently on a pinch as they deal with a _Tsundere-Sasuke_ and _Oujidere-Shikamaru_ , who were both fighting over who's _Naruto's best friend._

"--don't care! But, You're not his--" Sasuke screamed as he held the other with his collar, completely red in anger (read: blushing). 

"Please. I am _his Advisor_ , Anbu-san. It's--" Shikamaru retorted like _he's too cool_ to bother despite being near chokehold.

"Guys! You're both my best--" Naruto interjected in a (read: futile) attempt to pacify the two.

Truthfully, the Blonde's consolation simply worsened the situation much to Shikaku and Kakashi's chagrin. The designated referees (caretakers) seriously cannot handle any more of them. Thankfully, the last member of Konoha 12, Chouji, was simply sprawled on the floor, snoring blissfully.

All in all, it was a _disaster_. And everyone (except Naruto) had a horrible migraine the next day, either due to Alcohol or from dealing with them.

_End of Flashback_

* * *

Everyone visibly cringed at the memory. Shaking those terrifying thoughts away, Ino continued with her point.

“We will not be drinking. _Not.This.Time_.” Ino emphasized “--Rather, we’ll have another person drink with him--” Shikamaru and Sakura arched their eyebrow at that comment, “--or whatever. My point is: All we need is to plan. Get Naruto to drink beyond his tolerance. Also--” Ino crossed her arms, “--it’s not like Naruto will reject a _free drink_. His love for it practically equals ramen. So...Are you in?”

Silence. 

Ino huffed at them, rolling her eyes at their obvious reluctance.

“Seriously--” she began sarcastically, “--I believe it’s high time for Naruto to know and learn his lesson. After all, he never let us live that _incident_ down.” Ino paused momentarily before calling out behind her shoulders, “Don’t you agree, Sasuke-kun?” 

Swiftly, the sole living Uchiha appeared from the shadows, removing his Anbu mask as he approached before responding “I’m in.” 

Consequently, Kiba and Sakura agreed while Shikamaru simply muttered: “This will gonna be too troublesome.” Sai, on the other hand, had been involved by default. 

With a Cheshire grin, Ino declared, “ _Now. Let’s Plan_.”

* * *

Ino managed to convince (read: bribe) the entire Gang to her scheme. They were currently using the Uchiha Compound as a hideout despite the owner’s vehement objections. 

“Why are we using _my place_ , _again?_ ” Sasuke hissed. 

“Now, Sasuke--” Tenten chided, “--don’t be such a sour-puss. It’s not like we’re taking too much space.” 

“Tenten’s right. Besides, if Naruto had a hunch--” Sakura put a hand on her hip to make a point, “--your place would be his least suspect as a hideout.” Sakura instantly supplied. 

“Thank you, Sasuke-kun. Please bear with us.” Hinata smiled politely before adding, “Do you have any tea? Preferably jasmine?” she inquired, completely making herself at home.

At the end of their remarks, Sasuke’s visibly twitching in annoyance. He seriously missed the times when only the Blonde idiot (read: Naruto) had the courage to talk back at him. Meanwhile, the guys looked at him pityingly. After all, he just got ganged up by the _women_.

Out of nowhere, Ino pulled out a board in front of them and scrawled:

_**Operation: Get Naruto Drunk** _

She looked at the crowd before asking, “Any suggestions?”

Kiba raised his hand. 

“Can’t we just give him a ‘Drink-All-You-Can’ Coupon?” 

Akamaru yipped in agreement. Shino and Tenten rolled their eyes at his comment while Neji and Sasuke gave him a dead stare. Hinata and Chouji, on the other hand, seemed to be fumbling over their words as they try to tell Kiba that ‘it was foolish’ in a kind way, which was useless cause’ the pink-haired Medic Nin barked.

“YOU IDIOT!” Sakura smacked Kiba in the head.

“THE FUCK! WHAT’S WRONG--” the Inuzuka retaliated as he massaged his head. “--WITH YOU, WOMA--” 

And Sakura thwacked his head again, _harder_. Ino sighed. She can’t really blame her friend. Fortunately (for Kiba), Hinata cut in to save him.

“Umm. S-sakura-chan. I t-think that's enough.'' The female Hyuuga effectively halted the Medic-Nin’s assaults. Then, she turned to her assaulted teammate. “Kiba-kun, I-I don’t think it will work. Cause’...” Hinata can’t seem to finish her sentence.

“Cause’ it’s stupid?” Sai offered unhelpfully. 

Shino also dryly added, “Aside from the plan being totally brainless--” Kiba’s shouts of protests were dutifully ignored, “--the other reason is it will absolutely leave us broke.” 

"--complete-and-utterly broke." Tenten nodded in agreement.

Further pandemonium was about to explode until Shikamaru interrupted them.

“Well. It could work. Let’s do it.” 

Everyone looked at him like he'd grown another head (even Kiba. He honestly didn't think it would work despite being his plan).

Shikamaru shrugged. “We need to start at something. Plus, it’s a good platform to gather intel. If we want a good plan, we need _more information_. Also--" Shikamaru unconsciously lowered his voice, "--I have a theory I want to test.” he ended more of a mumble to himself. Regardless, Everyone heard. This made them accept his decision and follow. Shikamaru paused before pointing at Kiba, “Get that coupon and we’ll start tomorrow.”

And so, _Operation: Get Naruto Drunk_ officially commenced.

* * *

**_Attempt One:_**

**Plan "Intoxication** **by the Drink-All-You-Can Coupon"**

“Ossan! Another Bottle, Please!” 

Naruto gleefully called. A loud ‘COMING!’ can be heard from the counter. Beside him, Kiba winced as he glanced at the heap of empty bottles rapidly piling up. 

‘Damn. I might end up selling my kidneys at this point’ Kiba inwardly despaired. ‘At least, I won’t be broke alone’ he thought in consolation. Eyeing the Blonde who appears to be done with another bottle, Kiba mentally cried. _They’re soooo gonna kill me._ He heard Akamaru behind them.

 _Woof_. 

His partner softly murmured in his sleep, which received a soft laugh from his companion. “Looks like Akamaru’s having a nice dream.” 

Naruto fondly commented. To which Kiba offhandedly remarked with ‘Yeah’. All the while, glaring at Akamaru for having the gall to sleep in his misery. _Lucky Bastard._ However, his thoughts of revenge toward Akamaru was abruptly interrupted by the Blonde. 

“By the way, Thanks a lot for the coupon, Kiba.” Naruto grinned widely at him, “How the hell did you hide it again from Sakura-chan and the others?”

Kiba sighed as he recalled the earlier events.

* * *

_Flashback_

“Why me?” Kiba whined before continuing, “Can’t you get Sai to do the dirty work?” He complained while pointing at the ex-root member.

“Dog-Poop, stop being such a scaredy-cat,” Sai announced emotionlessly earning snickers around them. Before Kiba could explode, the Nara cut him.

“For the _last time_ \--” Shikamaru rubbed his temples while stressing, “--Kiba, it was _your God-damned idea_. I don’t care how you do it or where you will take him. Just give the _freaking_ (read: fake) coupon to Naruto and invite him, _discreetly_.”

“But why do I have it _alone_? Can’t we just pretend to have a get-together or a guys-night-out?” Kiba protested in desperation. 

Sasuke rolled his eyes at the Inuzuka before retorting, “Even the Dope would get suspicious if we’re all in it.”

“Sasuke-kun’s right” Ino scoffed at the Inuzuka. She instantly silenced Kiba’s upcoming complaints with her next words. “Besides, this is too sudden to be a coincidence. So get your ass working, Dog-breath!” Ino screeched impatiently. 

Kiba had to cover his poor ears just to save his hearing. After a few more seconds, he asked. “Won’t you miss seeing Naruto drunk? I mean. If I’m the only one with him tonight?” 

Neji smirked before countering, “We’re Ninja. We have our ways.” He said in a mocking tone. Before Kiba could snap at him, Hinata interjected to pacify her teammate

“You’re also a great Ninja, Kiba-kun” Hinata smiled at him encouragingly, “I’m sure you could manage.” 

“Kiba, Just--” Shikamaru drawled in exasperation, “--just go. Naruto’s been expecting you for quite some time already. Any more later and we'll no longer be _splitting the bill_ , Kiba." the Nara ended sternly. 

With that, Kiba finally let out a reluctant ' _Fine'._

_At the Hokage Tower_

The moment Kiba entered the room, the Hokage's eyes instantly fell into him.

"Kiba, I heard from Shika--" Naruto briefly stopped signing the papers as he slightly tilted his head, "--that you have something for me?" he curiously inquired. 

'Guess, I'll just have to _bullshit my way_ into it.' Kiba mentally conceded in dejection. 'Well, Here goes nothing.'

"Oh Yeah!" He accidentally declared too enthusiastically, earning an arched eyebrow from the Blonde, "so remember my last mission from Tea Country? The one from two weeks ago?" Naruto nodded at him, urging him to continue. "Guess what. The family of the boy I accidentally helped had a relative here in Konoha. I just remembered that they gave me two Drink-All-You-Can coupons--

"--Drink-All-You-Can?" Naruto echoed softly.

"--Yeah. At the Ninja Club as a Thank-You. The Owner was their relative. Since I obviously don't have a girlfriend. Plus, it's not like my teammates and sister would go, so--" Kiba paused his ramblings for a minute, "--wanna drink tonight?" he ended with a grin despite the loud pounding of his heart.

Kiba seriously hoped the Blonde did not see through his lies _or else_. He mentally shook his head. Kiba doesn't want to think about what _those women_ will do to him if he failed.

Silence.

Naruto's still silent. Kiba can no longer take this silence. Any more of this suspense and he's gonna have a heart attack. Fortunately, the Blonde decided to speak out.

"Really?! Let's go! Let's go Tonight! I--" 

'Huh. He looks like a pup who just got his treats,' Kiba mused.

"--wait. Won't Sakura-chan and the others stop us? I mean. With all their 'Drinking is unhealthy' nonsense?" Naruto warily grimaced.

Kiba was silently thankful the pink-haired Medic Nin was not present to hear him. "I got it covered!" Kiba proudly barked before offering, "Heard' from Hinata the girls will be having a night out at the Hyuugas. So if we avoided that area, I think we're good?" Naruto appeared to be pensive, "So... I'll see you at seven?"

At that, the Hokage excitedly agreed which led them to the current situation.

_End of Flashback_

* * *

Naruto hummed before commenting."Although, don't you think it's too much of a coincidence? Or--" Next too him, Kiba stilled. "--Naaah. We're just exceptionally lucky," the Blonde ended with a laugh.

'Phew. Crisis averted.' Kiba mutely exhaled in relief. 

Glimpsing at the clock from a few meters away, he noted that it's almost midnight. Kiba sighed. They've been in here at the bar for _almost five hours._ He honestly wondered 'How much longer?' Seeing that the Blonde is not even the slightest bit tipsy, Kiba just wanted to conclude that the plan failed before they all fall into further debts with Naruto's bill. He heard the Blonde declared.

"Ossan! Another One!”

 _Great._ Kiba rolled his eyes. 'This is never gonna end.' Before Kiba could fall into a bubble of despair due to the state of his wallet, the owner of the bar was standing in front of them.

“Sorry Hokage-sama. We--” The Owner sheepishly apologized, “--we kinda run out of sake.” he ended while shyly rubbing the back of his neck.

 _The fuck?_

These were the sole thoughts recurring to Kiba's mind. He's now totally incapable of forming any other words of comprehension. Akamaru chose this moment to wake up, nudging his partner back to reality. Meanwhile, the Blonde responsible for his state of shock was blissfully unaware of Kiba's inner predicament. Instead, he cheerfully chatted with the Owner before saying goodbye. 

"Oh. That's a shame." Naruto remarked disappointingly, "Guess' can't be helped. Thanks for having us again, Ossan!"

A cry of 'Anytime!' can be heard from the man. He waved at the Owner as he prodded Kiba with his other hand to get him going. To which, the latter followed him robotically (read: still in shock). When they were out in the streets, Naruto yawned, stretching his limbs upward before settling it in the back of his head. Naruto turned to face his friend before reflecting, 

"That was a GREAT Night. Thanks again, Kiba!" He patted the Inuzuka from the back before petting Akamaru fondly. Pointing at his right, Naruto started, "I'll be going this way. Are you sure you and Akamaru can manage on your own from here?" 

After receiving a stiff nod, Naruto left leaving the Inuzuka (still) absolutely dumbfounded.

**Plan "Intoxication by the Drink-All-You-Can Coupon" _\- FAILED_**

* * *

_To Be Continued_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!
> 
> How was it? Yeah. I kinda resurrected Shikaku and Inoichi. Hahah. Hopefully, this universe didn't disappoint any of you. Hahaha. Can you guess the other attempts? Anyways, let me know your thoughts about this chapter. I'll try to conclude this universe with just 2 chapters if not, three chapters will be the maximum. Once again, Thank u so much <3


	7. Charmed by the Hokage (Part 2): Naruto & Everyone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alcoholic Naruto AU. 
> 
> Ino was the first. And she’s definitely far from the last. 
> 
> Preview:
> 
> Kurama warned. “Careful Nara. You and your little group of friends are playing a dangerous game."
> 
> This time, Sasuke snorted. “Any of us could handle the Dope drunk, any time. ” He retaliated, dismissing his warnings. The Kyuubi did not bother replying. He left wordlessly, but inwardly, Kurama mused "Let the Fools dream. ”
> 
> (Kurama’s right. They had absolutely no idea what they signed up for.)

_ Recap:  _

_"That was a GREAT Night. Thanks again, Kiba!" He patted the Inuzuka from the back before petting Akamaru fondly. Pointing at his right, Naruto started, "I'll be going this way. Are you sure you and Akamaru can manage on your own from here?"_

_After receiving a stiff nod, Naruto left leaving the Inuzuka (still) absolutely dumbfounded._

_**Plan "Intoxication by the Drink-All-You-Can Coupon" - FAILED** _

* * *

**_ World 6: _ **

_Thud._

A loud, resounding crash can be heard as Sakura slammed her pile of reports at her desk, _hard_. Cracks can be seen creeping on the floor. 

(How her desk managed to survive the impact, _intact_ , would forever be a _mystery_ ). 

_One. Two. Breathe._

Sakura mentally counted before she started signing her papers. She needed to calm herself before she destroyed any stuff. However, remembering Kiba’s latest (read: stupid) stunt, Sakura’s vein popped as her pen _snapped in two_. Around her, all of the present occupants stilled. Sakura momentarily closed her eyes. Sensing the black aura oozing from her, all of her co-workers (with exception of Tsunade and Uzumaki Karin) scurried away in fear of her wrath. 

Sakura _swears_. She's definitely gonna smack that _fucking Inuzuka_ towards _oblivion_. After all, how the hell did they manage to _exhaust an entire bar's alcohol supply?_ It cost them a week worth of A-rank missions, _each_. And there were _twelve_ of them splitting the fucking bill.

(Somewhere, Kiba shivered in fear. He's been feeling his impending doom all day.) 

Meanwhile, Tsunade looked amusingly at her protégé as Sakura kept on mumbling words 'kill… Idiot…missions'. It was Karin who decided to break the ice. 

"Umm. Sakura-san--" she began hesitantly, "--is there something wrong?" 

(Tsunade silently applauded the Redhead for her courage or stupidity.) 

And another pen _broke_. 

"Why It's nothing big--" Sakura smiled (too) sweetly, "--Karin-chan. My idiot friend decided to test your cousin's tolerance by treating him to a bar with _a fake Drink-All-you-can coupon_ using _our money_. Can you imagine what happened?" 

"Uhh. It ended horribly?" Karin offered stupidly as she gulped. 

"Oh. Why Yes, Karin-chan. And--" Sakura's eyes were filled with fury, "IT LEFT US FUCKING BROKE!" 

And _Crash_. 

This time, the table _did not survive_. The destruction of her table seemed to snap Sakura out of her fury while Karin wisely body-flickered away. She moaned, 'Is it really impossible to get Naruto drunk?' 

"Oh, the brat could get drunk." 

In an instant, Sakura turned to Tsunade urging her to continue. The latter took a gulp of sake before continuing, "I was with the brat and Jiraiya-" Tsunade mentioned his name nostalgically, "--we were at the outskirts of the Tea Country to celebrate Naruto's 15th Birthday--"

"--Ahh. So that's where you _disappeared--_ " At that, the Slug Princess visibly flinched. "--for three days, Tsunade-sama" Shizune inserted too warmly as she entered the room. "Oh. Don't mind me, continue on your tale. " She added while giving Tsunade a look of We'll-Talk-About-This-Later. 

Tsunade sighed. "Anyways, the brat and I had a drinking contest--" she was rudely interrupted by her protégé. 

"Wait. Naruto got drunk?" Receiving a nod of confirmation, Sakura immediately asked. "So Shishou, you saw _Naruto drunk_?" 

However, Tsunade shook her head, earning a confused look from Sakura. She explained sheepishly, "I was also too drunk to remember anything. So it was only the Toad pervert whoever witnessed the brat drank." At that, Sakura visibly deflated. "But--" Tsunade paused for effect, "--Jiraiya was _absolutely traumatized._ The next day--" Now. This totally piqued Sakura's interest. "--the Idiot Pervert demanded that the brat was never allowed to get _drunk ever again_." Tsunade barked in laughter. However, another voice corrected her. 

"Technically, there were two people who witnessed the Naruto-kun drunk, Tsunade-sama." Two pairs of eyes instantly snapped at Shizune. "The other one was Uchiha Itachi. Jiraiya-sama retold in his letters--" The Blond drunkard's eye widened in recognition. "--that it was _quite a scene._ Even Itachi of the Akatsuki _wisely retreated_." 

At that moment, Sakura’s eyes were rekindled with newfound fire. _No matter what it takes, they will see Naruto drunk_. 

(At the Hokage Tower, Naruto _sneezed_. Kakashi glanced at him from the edge of his book with a quirked eyebrow. Naruto dismissed his worries with a smile. After all, he can't afford to catch a cold with the incoming Summit.) 

Meanwhile, Tsunade musingly replied: “Right, I remember that letter. Sakura--” she smiled slyly at her before proposing, “--how about I offer you brats _a deal?_ ”

* * *

"... And, that was it. What do you think? " Sakura concluded as she retold the events at the Konoha Hospital.

"I--" In an instant, multiple glares were directed at him. Kiba obligingly zipped his mouth, _shut_. 

(For the entire meeting, Kiba kept quiet, never adding another word or comment lest he wants to be dead meat. Nobody had forgiven him yet for his stupid stunt) 

"The _Uchiha Itachi_ retreated?" Tenten exclaimed in a mixture of amusement and astonishment. "Now. That's something I would pay to see." She laughed before adding, "Why not?" 

"Hn. The Old Hag just wants an excuse to drink." Sasuke deadpanned. 

"Oh Shut up, Sasuke--" Sakura rolled her eyes at her teammate, "--I actually think it might work and stop insulting Shishou." The Medic-Nin countered as she put a hand on her hip. 

"I agree with Sasuke." Neji immediately retaliated as he emphasized, "That was _half a decade ago_. Also, both of them got drunk. Naruto's alcohol tolerance is definitely higher in the present." 

Surprisingly, it was Shino who countered the Hyuuga. "While that might be true--" he adjusted his glasses, "--the same could be applied to Tsunade-sama."

Before Neji could make a rebuttal, Ino yelled an ear-piercing "WAIT!" After silencing everyone (and impairing their hearing), she clarified "So let me get this straight--" Ino's eyebrow arched dramatically "--Tsunade-sama _actually tied_ Naruto at a drinking contest?" her voice ending in complete disbelief. After receiving the nod from Medic Nin, she excitedly added: "I'm sooo in. Let's do it." 

"I believe I'm siding with Traitor and Stoneface--" The two immediately glared at him. "--on this one. Tsunade-sama cannot be trusted with alcohol." Sai commented with his usual smile. 

And so, the bickering continues (Shikamaru wisely kept his mouth shut through it all).

Lee, on the other hand, voiced his puzzlement. "I am so confused." All the while, looking at the on-going battle of wits. "What's the point if Tsunade-sama already got drunk once in the contest with Naruto?" 

It was Hinata who answered him. "Well, Lee-san. I believe--" the Hyuuga Clan heir began while touching her chin, "--what Shino-kun and the others are hoping is that Tsunade-sama would match Naruto-kun again in a drinking contest." She kindly supplied. 

"OH! So--" Lee made a fist-pump in understanding. "--both of them would get drunk!" Seeing the nod from both Chouji and Hinata, Lee screamed 'YOSH!' and ended up joining the fray. 

Several moments later… 

"THAT'S IT!" Ino screeched after realizing that their discussion was definitely getting nowhere. She pointed at her genius teammate before demanding, "Shikamaru! You're--" the Nara inwardly rolled his eyes "--the Advisor here. Make the _fucking_ call!" she ended in a high pitch. 

"So _Troublesome_." Before his Blonde teammate could harp any further, Shikamaru inserted: "Truthfully, I think this plan would fail." At that, Neji and Sasuke had smug looks. The Young Advisor continued. "However, Shino made a _valid point_. Sasuke--" to which the Uchiha replied with an arched eyebrow, "Did the Uzumaki girl also have a high tolerance?" 

Everyone shifted at him as they waited. It took Sasuke a few more minutes to respond. "Not really. However, her tolerance was still above average." 

The Konoha 10 (and Sai) had one thought running in their minds. It was Tenten who voiced it out "Are you implying it had something to do with the _Uzumaki blood_?" 

"Shishou may be part Uzumaki but her and Naruto's tolerance were on another world compared to Karin-chan," Sakura supplied. 

“My hypothesis is--” Shikamaru’s frown deepened as his eyes glinted calculatingly, “--it has something to do with the blending of the Uzumaki and Senju Blood," he concluded. 

“I get it.” Neji swiftly confirmed before inserting, “What you’re trying to say was: since both Senju and Uzumakis were known for their powerful life forces, it contributed to their insanely high tolerance. Am I right?” At that, the Nara nodded in affirmation.

Unexpectedly, it was Chouji who questioned the Nara's earlier presumptions. "Shika, wouldn't that mean Shino's right though? That Tsunade-sama could par Naruto?" 

Shikamaru shook his head in a 'No'. 

"What? You just said--" 

Ino never got a chance to finish her words because Shikamaru inserted, "Because _Naruto's a Jinchuuriki_."

Within seconds, multiple groans can be heard across the room. 

"Of course--" Sakura rubbed her temples in exasperation as she spoke, "--if the Kyuubi could _expel all kinds of poison_ out of Naruto--" 

"--then the Kyuubi could also _burn all the alcohol_ before it even got a chance to settle." Tenten supplied in a sigh. 

"Great." Ino scowled in annoyance. "So the real enemy is the _Giant Furball of Chakra,_ as Naruto would like to call--" she crossed her arms in a puff, "--him. What now?" 

When Shikamaru was about to propose his plan, Shino beat him to it. "There are three other living Jinchuurikis, excluding Naruto." 

The Young Advisor smirked, seeing his other friends catching up. To his delight, Sai added, "You're planning to convene the other Jinchuurikis."

Neji voiced out his concern "The other Kages, especially the Raikage, won't be easy to persuade." 

Clearing his throat, Shikamaru began. "Here's my proposal. If you guys want to proceed with the Gokudaime's plan, I don't mind. But, this time. The others-" his eyes shifted to the members of Team Kurenai and Gai, "--will be preparing for the second phase." 

With that, **Plan "Get Drunk with Tsunade Again"** and **"Drinking War with the Jinchuurikis"** were finally set _on motion._

* * *

**_Attempt Two:_ **

**Plan "Get Drunk with Tsunade Again"**

_A Few Hours Earlier_

"I still don't get why I have to suffer from your company," Sasuke grumbled (read: sulked). 

"Traitor, looks like your brain--" Sai never got to finish his sentence as he dodged the shower of shurikens sent by the Uchiha.

Sakura rolled her eyes at their antics. She chided. “Sasuke, stop being such a baby. You--” At that, the Uchiha instantly glared furiously, which his teammate effortlessly ignored “--don’t hear me complaining about having to deal with you and Sai, _together_.” Sakura crossed her hands at the Uchiha before bringing up, “Besides, be grateful we’re not _assigned to Kumo_. Neji visibly blanched at the thought of dealing with Killer B.”

At her reminder, Sasuke (even the emotionless Sai) cringed. The trio was currently on their way to pick-up Naruto and Kakashi-sensei. The ex-root member already sent one of his drawings to inform Yamato-taichou. Meanwhile, the rest of the Gang were on their way to Kumo (Team Gai), Kiri (Team Kurenai), and Suna (Team Asuma) to convince its respective Jinchuurikis for their next plan.

By default, Sasuke was assigned to watch Naruto. After all, only the Sharingan has the ability to record every detail of any event. At the same time, it could conjure a Genjutsu for the others to see. However, to avoid any suspicion from their target, they will not be the one initiating the attempt. Instead, the drinking contest with Tsunade will be in the guise of Team 7's dinner night (read: bonding time), wherein they’ll meet the Slug Princess _by chance_ at the restaurant. When Sasuke tried objecting (keyword: tried) his compulsory attendance at the dinner, Shikamaru instantly interjected. 

“Sasuke--” the Nara held up a finger as he quoted, “-- _Once is a coincidence. Twice is a pattern. And the Third Time is an Enemy Action_.” With three fingers up, the Young Advisor justified, “You have to be there or else, _Naruto will know_.”

With a final grunt, the Uchiha resigned to his fate.

* * *

_Present Time_

Sasuke was intensely scowling at his drink. Why the hell did he have to be here? He was perfectly capable of completing his task without the need to associate with _these idiots_. His glare further worsened.

“Now, now Sasuke-kun. You--” Kakashi-sensei drawled as he took a sip from his glass. “--should take that look away before the Anbu guards mistook it for a _warning._ As far as I can tell, none of our beverages were poisoned.” Teasingly, he commented. “I’d really rather not have my drinks taken away from me because of your _hateful look._ ” Kakashi admonished with an eye-smile. 

Predictably, the Uchiha glowered at him for that stupid remark. Near them, Naruto was laughing heartily as Yamato-taichou tried to stop Sakura from beating Sai up into a bloody pulp. However, before Sasuke could retort, their conversation was interrupted by the arrival of Tsunade-sama and her disciple, Shizune.

“Brat.” Tsunade greeted as she placed a bottle of sake at the center of their table. “Ready to settle our _old bet?_ ”

Naruto looked absolutely amused before he challenged, “Baa-chan, I _tied_ you when I was fifteen. And that was _five years ago_. What makes you think you’ll win this time?”

(In the background, Yamato-taichou asked “What bet?” which was immediately silenced by an off-handed remark of “Silence Tenzo, this is getting good.” Some of the citizens who heard them started making bets. After all, any bet between the two Hokages is bound to be _something legendary_.)

Tsunade grinned at him smugly before retaliating, “How about you let your drinking do the talking?”

At that, Naruto laughed. “Sure. But--” he grinned ferally, the sharpness of his teeth showing. “--be prepared to _lose_ , Baa-chan.” The Nanadaime taunted. 

A vein appeared at Tsunade’s temple. “ _Brat._ You’re a hundred years too early to be claiming such shit.” She declared fiercely.

“Pleaseee, Baa-chan--” Naruto drawled amusingly, “--If Kakashi-sensei's _ancient--_ ”

“Oi” Kakashi objected while the others snickered. Naruto ignored him.

“--you're practically _decayed._ There's no way you could defeat me.” The vein on Tsunade’s temple popped. 

And so, the _game was on_.

* * *

_After Many, Many, Many Empty Bottles of Sake_

“One more *hic* round!” Tsunade slurred, obviously drunk. And Naruto? He’s the same as always, absolutely free of any signs of intoxication as he helped Shizune control the drunk Blonde. 

“Tsunade-sama! You had--”

“--No! *hic* I--”

“--Baa-chan, listen to--”

Kakashi droned out the voices in front of him. He gave his other students a pointed look as he accused, “You planned this.” The trio visibly flinched while Yamato got caught on the ongoing fray. Seeing that none of them will take the bait, he continued, “What were you kids trying to achieve?” 

Unsurprisingly, it was Sakura who crumbled and answered in a tight tone. “Nothing, sensei.”

At her response, Kakashi gave them a stare, completely unamused. "You know, Sakura-chan--" the Copy Ninja pondered out loud, "--I may not have witnessed it, unlike Jiraiya-sama. But--" his baritone changed to his Hokage’s voice as he solemnly warned, "--as they say: _Be careful of what you wish for."_

Sakura was just about to retort when there was a loud...

_Crash._

Tsunade ended up destroying a table as she fell on the floor, snoring blissfully. Shizune, Naruto, and Yamato slumped in defeat. A few more minutes later, Naruto turned to his teammates and grinned. With a V-sign, he proudly declared: “I win.”

Kakashi gave the trio one last knowing look before he went next to the grinning Hokage, giving him a congratulatory pat on the head. Glancing at her Shishou, who’s blissfully dozing on the floor, Sakura conceded. At the smug aura from her teammates, the Medic Nin sighed. She really should have expected it. 

After all, Tsunade-sama might be _legendary_ with her insanely high tolerance and unrivaled medical talent. But, she's also wasn't known as the _Legendary Sucker_ for no reason.

**Plan "Get Drunk with Tsunade Again" - _FAILED_**

* * *

As usual, the Gang was back at the Uchiha Compound. Needless to say, this became their permanent meeting place (regardless of Sasuke’s opinion on that matter). This time, it was Shikamaru leading the discussion. He glanced at Team Kakashi (minus Naruto) before instructing: “Report.”

In a sullen tone, Sakura began, "It was--" which was cut off by two voices simultaneously speaking. 

"--a waste of time." 

"--a dumb plan." 

Sasuke and Sai respectively commented dryly. The latter with his usual creepy smile while the former with a defiant posture. Sakura groaned. _Why did she have to get stuck with two egoistic, emotionally-stunted imbeciles as teammates?_ Ino had absolutely no idea _how lucky_ she is to have Chouji and Shikamaru instead of _these morons_. She sighed. 

“Forget the idiots. Anyways, it failed--” Sasuke provocatively rolled his eyes at her remark. “--Plus, Kakashi-sensei caught on us.” 

Shikamaru nodded at them before adding, “Well, it can’t be helped.” He turned toTeam Gai to continue when Kiba interrupted them.

“Wait, wait!” Kiba frantically flared his hands in the air. “Wouldn’t it be bad if Kakashi-sensei _knows?_ ” 

“He’s right, you know--” Ino interjected before reasoning, “--wouldn’t it impede our plans if he told Naruto?” she inquired.

The Young Advisor shrugged before responding, “I honestly don’t think Kakashi-sensei will bother. He’s--”

“--too lazy to care.” Sasuke deadpanned. 

“--bored.” Sai clipped.

“-- and most likely waiting for mayhem.” Sakura supplied dryly.

“Basically, what they said,” Shikamaru concluded, gesturing a hand towards Team 7 to give emphasis. The Hyuuga Branch Member cleared his throat as he began to relay their mission.

“The Raikage agreed to our appeal with some help from Killer B. The latter's too ecstatic with the plan." Neji grimaced at the memory. "However, he vowed he'll be… inconspicuous--" he said hesitantly. Truthfully, even the Hyuuga prodigy doubted his own words. "--in provoking Naruto to a drinking war. Also, the Raikage made it clear he would not be dealing with his brother, _afterwards_." He paused before concluding, "That's all from our team."

It was Shino who spoke next. "The Mizukage was eager to participate. I quote: 'Anything to get back at that brat' s _old maid_ \--" 

"She's still pretty sore for _that comment,_ " Kiba interjected with snickers, which earned a giggle from most of the women while Hinata gave him a pointed look.

"--remark." Shino gave the Inuzuka a stare for the rude interruption. Before adding, "End of our Report."

Since neither Ino nor Chouji appears to be speaking soon, Shikamaru initiated "Guess. It's our turn. Well--" he drawled, "--Gaara was kinda tricky. He doesn’t wish to scheme behind Naruto yet he can't deny his curiosity. In a way, the Kazekage was somewhere-in-between. It was a drag. Still--” he let out a deep breath, “--we managed to convince him with the Ichibi’s incessant harassment.” Shikamaru scratched the back of his hair before adding, “We also decided against involving his siblings. Temari’s particularly too troublesome to deal with.”

Everyone agreed with their decision. They had to be careful. The Kazekage’s older sister was definitely going to be difficult, especially her overprotective tendencies toward her siblings. With that settled, the Gang simply had to wait for the day of the Summit.

* * *

_**Attempt Three:** _

**Plan "Drinking War with the Jinchuurikis"**

_The Day of the Summit_ ****

“What’s that?” Ino pointed out at the barrel being hauled in by Kiba and Chouji.

She just arrived at the Ninja Club to help with tonight’s preparation. Ino can see Sai and Shino too engrossed with their tasks. The two were occupied with unscrolling the storage scrolls while Sakura was negotiating with the owner of the place. In another corner, Lee and Hinata (the sacrifices) were busy entertaining an extremely enthusiastic Killer B and his rappings (Bless their souls). Meanwhile, the rest of the Gang was at the Summit accompanying Naruto as his Advisor (aka Shikamaru) and Anbu guards (aka Sasuke and Neji).

It was Tenten who satiated her curiosity. “It’s a special rum from Kumogakure.” the Kunoichi supplied. “Killer B--” she said, eyeing Gyuki’s Jinchuuriki “--noted that it’s the only rum that ever got him wasted. Like it was specifically concocted to meet _their tolerances._ ”

Ino hmmed in response. “Soooo, we’ll be using only this rum--” gesturing at the storage scroll at Tenten’s hand, “--for tonight?” she asked for confirmation.

Tenten nodded before adding, “Also, the effect was instantaneous. Three hours will be enough.” 

Ino absentmindedly accepted. She just hoped this actually works. 

* * *

_Meanwhile…_

At the Summit, Shikamaru was trying his hardest not to doze off. It was extremely difficult (and troublesome) when there wasn’t really any need for him to _be here._ The Kages were only meeting to discuss the trade treaty between the Five Nations and its proposed routes. Still, it doesn’t directly involve Konoha. In fact, his or any of the advisor’s presence was absolutely unnecessary.

(Shikamaru’s betting the Hokage just wanted somebody to share his misery).

Heck, even the bodyguards of the other Kages were out exploring the Village, the Kazekage being an exception (most likely his sister insisted on attending). Speaking of the Blonde Kunoichi, she’s been staring (read: glaring) at Shikamaru for quite some time now, to which the latter gladly ignored. When the Kazekage’s sister was fully convinced that nobody could hear her aside from the Nara, she whispered.

“You’re scheming something.” Temari accused.

Shikamaru pretended he couldn't hear her. 

Totally unimpressed by his reaction, she continued: “Whatever it is, _I'll find out_. If Gaara--” her eyes narrowing deeply, “--gets hurt in any way, you'd wish you were dead, _Nara_.” Temari threatened, spatting his name like a venom.

This time, Shikamaru wisely ignored her, _harder_.

* * *

_Timeskip:_

_Hours After the Summit_

Miraculously, Killer B did convince Naruto to have an All-Out-Drinking War with the other Jinchuurikis _without raising any suspicions_. How the Gyuki’s Jinchuuriki managed such a feat is even beyond Shikamaru’s comprehension. 

‘Or maybe Naruto simply latched on any reason to drink to his heart’s content.’ The Nara considered amusingly. Unfortunately, his musings were cut short by a shout from the Kazekage’s (overprotective) sister.

“Oi! Shikamaru--” Temari called, her hands were on her hips, “--how much longer do we have to wait?!” she impatiently interrogated. 

The Nara let out a deep breath. The Gang (or most of them) was currently at the common area of the club, waiting as the Jinchuurikis carried out the plan. Killer B specifically requested for a private room to make it look like a Jinchuuriki thing. Hence, they were automatically tasked with entertaining their companions.

A few tables from his left, he can hear bits of Chōjūrō and Tenten’s conversation as they compare their Kenjutsus. On Shikamaru’s right, Sakura was discussing some Medical Ninjutsu with Shee, the Blonde Jounin from Kumogakure, while Kankuro offered some of his knowledge about poisons. Somewhere at the back of the club, the Raikage was drinking with Kakashi and Tsunade while Hinata, Shino, and Ino were exchanging information extraction techniques with Ao of Kirigakure. Meanwhile, Darui was casually chatting with Chouji, Lee, and Kiba. 

Neji and Sasuke, on the other hand, were nowhere in sight, claiming they’re still on duty (which was _complete bullshit_ in Shikamaru’s opinion). The Nara’s positive the two prodigies simply didn’t want to deal with the aftermath (Lazy asses). And Sai… Shikamaru doesn’t really want to ponder on the _mayhem_ the ex-root member was causing with his offhanded remarks in another corner. 

“Shikamaru, are you even listening to me?!” Temari demanded. 

He sighed. For some unknown (read: unfortunate) reason, the most troublesome of the bunch (aka Temari) was _dumped into him_. 

“Temari--” he began lethargically, “-- let’s wait for a few more minutes.” When the Blonde was about to interject, he continued. “Tenten!” Shikamaru called from his left to which the Kunoichi responded with a questioning look. He inquired, “How many hours was it, again, for the rum to take effect?”

“Well, he said it would only take three hours. Now that you mention it--” Tenten touched her chin, portraying a pensive look “--it’s almost been five hours since they started.” 

At that, the other conspirators shifted their attention to them. Shikamaru guessed it's time to check on them, especially with Temari silently fuming beside him (The Blonde Kunoichi was absolutely against the idea of letting her siblings drink, particularly Gaara.)

As they crept closer to the room, they can finally hear some of Naruto’s mutters.

"--Yes, Gaara I love cuddling--”

 _What?_ The Gang plus the Jinchuuriki’s companions thought synchronously. 

“--No, Mei-chan. You ARE beautiful. Don’t worry about--”

 _Okay_. There was something really wrong with Naruto complimenting the Mizukage. Shikamaru supplied inwardly. 

“--AHH! Octopops, stop--" 

_Boom. Crash. Bang._

Hearing those noises, none of them could stop Temari from slamming the door open.

_Wham._

(Despite their boisterous entrance, none of the four Jinchuurikis paid any attention.) 

In an instant, all of them _froze_ at the scene that greeted them. The couch and table were completely _decimated into pieces_ , courtesy of Killer B who’s currently picking a fight with a _painting_ in spite of the Hokage’s objections. The Kazekage, on the other hand, was hugging Naruto on his waist as he whined for attention. _Almost like a clingy puppy._ Concurrently, the Mizukage was holding the Blonde on chokehold as she demanded an explanation for her _non-existent_ love life. And Naruto? The poor Blonde was _completely at loss_ to whom he should focus on.

(He had totally forgotten his signature Shadow Clone Jutsu amidst his panic.) 

All in all, it was clear that the Jinchuurikis was drunk, with the exception of the one who’s _supposed to be intoxicated_. Suddenly, they were broken into their stupor by the Redhead’s cry of "Temari!"

A flushed Gaara exclaimed happily as he ran towards her sister. When he was in front of her, he enthusiastically inquired "Will you cuddle me?" His emerald eyes brimming with excitement as he looked at her expectantly. For some reason, Temari could see an (imaginary) tail wagging behind him. Beside her, Kankuro was gaping like a fish.

Before the Sand siblings could have a chance to recover, their youngest asked in a defeated tone, “Don’t you like cuddles?” His expression was slowly turning dejected as he added, “Naruto was cuddling me before you came. But Mei-chan and B-san stole him away…” 

_Oh, God_. Temari thought in horror. She could literally see Gaara’s (imaginary) ears and tails droop. Furiously pushing down her incoming blush, she gathered her bearings and went to hug their youngest while gesturing at Kankuro to follow (The puppeteer reluctantly did in fear of her wrath).

"Yay! You're the best--" the Redhead grinned at them exuberantly,"--siblings in the whole world!”

At that, the Kazekage’s elder siblings crumbled at _his cuteness_.

* * *

Meanwhile, Chōjūrō and Ao went to their despairing Kage. The women following close behind, ready to provide support. After all, they do pity the Mizukage for the lack of spices (read: romance) in her current age.

Shikamaru shifted his gaze to their other companions (aka Shee and Darui) before inquiring, “Aren’t you gonna do something about _him?_ ” The Nara inquired as he pointed at the Kumo’s Jinchuuriki who had just finished obliterating the poor painting, creating cracks and holes on the wall.

Taking one look at Killer B who’s about to pound Lee or Naruto for their interference, both of them instantly clipped “No.”

At the Nara’s raised eyebrow, Shee raised both of his hands defensively as he supplied, “We’re not going in there. It’s not like _we’ll be any help_. Even your Kage has trouble dealing with him.” He justified as Darui nodded in confirmation.

Shikamaru can’t honestly disagree with his argument. They made a very valid point. However, somebody had to control the Gyuki's Jinchuuriki before he destroyed the entire place. And the Advisor and his friends refuse to deal with him. Thankfully, the Raikage (his patience finally ran out) decided to intervene. With a swift jab of a lightning infused hand on the back of his neck, Killer B instantly fell unconscious. 

“Shee! Darui!” The Raikage called. “Bring this Idiot--” he said pointing to his snoring brother, “--to his room. We’ll leave tomorrow at 9.”

With that, all the Kumo-Nins left for the night.

* * *

 _"Thank God_.” 

Naruto sighed in relief as he turned his gaze to them. He exclaimed, “I’m so glad, you guys decided to barge in. I thought _I was gonna die._ ” The Hokage slumped on the floor, absolutely exhausted. After a few more moments, Naruto pondered out loud:

“Why am I involved in too many drinking contests these past few weeks?” He asked no one in particular. However, those who heard it visibly twitched. 

_Damn._ They needed to distract him. And _quick_. 

Shikamaru blurted out, “Naruto, how did this--" he gestured at the drunk Jinchuurikis "--happen?" 

“Oh. It was honestly harmless at first.” He mumbled as he recalled the events. “We were just talking, bonding as Jinchuurikis when Octopops brought out a new rum. He said we should try it. What’s surprising was _Gaara_ \--” Naruto accentuated his name “--immediately agreed. So we went to it. It was really _strong_. Even I tasted the alcohol in the first sip.” At that comment, multiple eyebrows arched from his audiences. “After a couple of bottles, Gaara turned into that--” he gestured at the cuddle-happy Jinchuuriki, “--but at least he was easy and _cute_. Like--” Naruto grinned as he glanced at the Sand siblings,“--like a puppy!” the Hokage laughed.

The others can’t help but agree with him. Even they can see his additional (read: fictional) limbs.

“And then?” Chouji urged as he munched through his chips.

“And then, Mei-san burst _into tears_. Something about marriage and shits. The next minute, she was blaming Octopops. And after another--” Naruto shook his head in the memory “--she wanted to jump off the window because no one would want her. That--” the Hokage pointed at the wrecked table, “--was actually _caused by her_.” 

At that, his listeners visibly grimaced while Kiba decided to cut in.

“Uhh. How did--” the Inuzuka began as he eyed the annihilated couch, “--it ended up like that?” he inquired cautiously.

Naruto looked at the couch pitifully as he explained, “Sometime--" the Blonde drawled out, "--while dealing with the two, Octopops suddenly decided _the couch had to die_.” He sighed wearily before concluding, “And that’s about the time you guys barged in.”

The Hokage was about to add more when Gaara interrupted with a shout of ‘Naru! Cuddle me too!’ Naruto shook his head with a smile before complying.

Looking at the mess in front of them, the remainder of the Gang (aka Shikamaru, Kiba, Chouji, and Shino) conceded in defeat. Out of nowhere, Sai appeared next to them and (unhelpfully) concluded, “So it seems, we have failed miserably, _again_.”

Shikamaru gave him a dirty look. However, before any of them could retort, Kakashi commented behind them. 

"Too bad, it was a good plan.” The Copy Ninja hummed before he added, “Guess. The Kyuubi being the strongest Bijuu is applicable to _everything._ Better luck next time.” Kakashi ended with an eye-smile. 

**Plan "Drinking War with the Jinchuurikis" - _FAILED_**

* * *

_The Next Day_

“UGHH. Can’t you--” Kiba complained as he pointed accusingly at the Uchiha, “--just use your Sharingan to hypnotize him? Like, make Naruto think _he’s drunk?_ ” 

Predictably, this earned multiple eye-rolls in the room (even Akamaru was smart enough to know that Genjutsus _doesn't work_ that way). As usual, Sai had to make an unhelpful remark.

“Truly astounding. You--” Sai began to clap (mockingly), “--never failed to amaze us with your _inherent stupidity._ ”

Kiba was just about to pound at the ex-root member when Sasuke clarified vexingly, “Sharingan may be called the Eye of Hypnotism. _But_ \--” the Uchiha emphasized, “--their prowess lies in Genjutsus. And _Genjutsus are Illusions._ Not some hypnotism shit you--” Sasuke gave Kiba a dry look, “--inclined to believe in.”

“Sasuke’s right.” Sakura sighed. “While Naruto might be incapable of producing a Genjutsu to save his life, it doesn’t mean he’ll fall for it _easily_ ,” she stressed.

“Also--” the Bug User instantly added, “-- _Naruto has the Kyuubi._ ” Shino pointed out.

Abruptly, Shikamaru interjected. “No.” The Young Advisor cursed before adding, “Kiba’s right.” Swiftly, all eyes were at him. He mentally smacked himself. Shikamaru should have realized it sooner. Focusing his gaze to the Uchiha, he directed. “Sasuke, use your Sharingan to put Naruto into _a deep slumber_. The rest of us will stand guard while handling both the Anbu and Kakashi-sensei. He’ll most likely be there to intercept us. What we--” Shikamaru cut his instructions short. Seeing the confused (and dumb) looks from his friends, he sighed before elaborating, “Okay. My point is: if we want _any chance_ to succeed, we need the Kyuubi’s cooperation.” 

At that, sparks of understanding flashed through their features. Without wasting any second, Shikamaru began to finish his instructions. _This time._ He’ll make sure _they’ll succeed._

* * *

“Naruto.” 

A voice called from an unknown direction. Both occupants of the room (aka Naruto and Kakashi) paused and looked up from their papers (read: paperwork and Icha-Icha book) they were reading.

“Sasuke?” At the mention of his name, the Uchiha appeared crouching by the windowpane of the tower, his Anbu mask in place. The Hokage turned to face him. “Why are you here in your Anbu attire? You’re not--”

In an instant, Sasuke’s face was an inch away from Naruto. Mangekyo Sharingan flaring furiously as his mask lay forgotten on the floor. With a whisper of _‘Sleep’_ , fluttering feathers dominated the Hokage’s vision, and the _Nehan Shōja no Jutsu_ was effectively cast. Naruto’s body fell limp as Sasuke caught him. 

Both Kakashi and Yamato (the Anbu on duty) were immediately immobilized by Team Asuma and Kurenai, respectively. The former with Shikamaru’s Shadow Capture Jutsu while the latter with Shino’s Cage of Insects as their teammates held their captives at gunpoint. Team Gai and the remaining members of Team Kakashi followed close behind, securing the entrance and exit lest they want to be disturbed. 

It was Kakashi who first broke the silence. 

"Maaa. If I didn't know better, I would have thought you kids were attempting mutiny." Sasuke, Sakura, and Ino rolled their eyes at that comment while Tenten, Hinata, and Chouji gave him an apologetic smile. He continued in a lazy manner. "Understanding your logic, Tenzo and I will stand down." Kakashi paused for a minute before remarking, "This position is hardly comfortable for us, old men. Will--" 

"--Senpai! I'm not that old!" Yamato quickly protested. 

"--you now let your poor, helpless Senseis go?" The Copy Ninja requested with a feign, pained look. 

At the end of his whimsical nonsense, multiple disagreements can be simultaneously made out in the room. 

"What the hell is he yapping? He's _filthy_ rich." Kiba asked rhetorically. 

“You’re barely 35.” Ino deadpanned as she gave him a dirty look.

"Dramatics." Neji dryly commented. 

“Pervy Captain, that’s literally an insult to all old men.” Sai apathetically pointed.

"Pleaseeee. You're anything but helpless sensei." Sakura snorted. 

Kakashi made a mock-hurt expression at their remarks. Nevertheless, Shikamaru and Shino complied, releasing them from their Jutsus. Meanwhile, Sasuke situated Naruto in the chair, who remained asleep under his Genjutsu. He saw the Nara nodded at him to proceed. 

"Kyuubi--" Sasuke began, "--I know, the Genjutsu didn't affect you. Come out. We wish to speak with you."

In a blink, Naruto's eyes snapped open. His pupils slitted as it turned crimson. The atmosphere in the room dropped as Kurama released bits of his Chakra. 

In a deep, commanding tone, he inquired. “ _Uchiha Sasuke_ , to what do I owe the pleasure of this _call?_ ” he ended with a feral grin, fangs showing. Most of their audiences mentally shivered, Even until now, the sheer power and aura the Kyuubi exuded never failed to intimidate even the strongest Shinobis. 

(How Naruto lived to tell the tale after calling the Kyuubi a _giant, grumpy furball_ will be one of life’s greatest mysteries.)

“I’ll cut the chase. We’re in a…special mission--” Kakashi stifled a laugh at his word choice to which Sasuke glared in return. Meanwhile, Yamato was so confused with the situation. “--Needless to say, it requires your cooperation for its success.” He stated solemnly.

Kurama shifted his gaze among them before focusing on Sasuke. “Pray tell, what do you, _mere humans_ \--” some (namely Neji, Ino, and Sakura) notably twitched at the insult, ”--wish to achieve with _my assistance_?” he inquired provocatively. Kurama inwardly triumphed at their visible annoyance. He might have promised the Blonde idiot he’ll never hurt another human being, but who says Kurama can’t irritate them just for the hell of it?

This time, it was Shikamaru who answered him. The Nara approached them as he spoke. “What Sasuke was trying to say was: We ask you to help us get _Naruto drunk_.” 

At that, Kurama guffawed for a full-blown minute until he off-handedly remarked: "Forget it." The Kyuubi yawned, limbs outstretched "If you have nothing more to say--" 

"Actually--" Shikamaru instantly interrupted, "--let me rectify my previous statement. We are _requiring_ you of your services." 

Instantaneously, the temperature of the room dropped, suffocating them with his Chakra. Still, neither of them backed down. Kurama challenged "And if I refuse?"

It took the Young Advisor a minute to answer. He remarked sluggishly. "Well, that's kinda troublesome. But--" There's a conniving glint in Shikamaru’s eyes, "--let's just say we have a _willing Uchiha_ \--” Sasuke gave out a Cheshire grin, “--with a _fully-developed Sharingan._ "

Kurama did not need eyes to know that the occupants of the room were smirking. Eyes narrowing at the brat’s implications, he warned. 

“ _Careful Nara_. You and your little group of friends are playing a dangerous game."

A feral smile graced at Shikamaru's lips as he countered, "We're Ninjas. Danger is basically part of the job description." 

At that, the Kyuubi went silent, his face completely void of any emotion. As minutes went by, the rest were getting restless. Even Shikamaru and Sasuke began to be disturbed by his stillness. The Young Advisor was just about to change his tactics when Kurama spoke. 

"Hmph. No wonder the brat was _adamant_ of you to be his advisor." Before anyone could question his statement, he gruffed "Very well. I'll help you, puny little humans, with your quest.” Kurama paused with a pensive look. “On the night of your next monthly gathering, give him the strongest booze. He'll be as Intoxicated as you wish."

Upon hearing his words, the Gang cheered. All of them had triumph looks. Even Yamato appears to be excited. Before returning to his slumber, Kurama forewarned. “Heed my words: _None of you can handle him._ ”

Sasuke snorted. “Any of us could handle the Dope drunk, _any time._ ” He retaliated, dismissing his warnings. The Kyuubi did not bother replying. He left wordlessly, leaving Naruto’s body to fall back into sleep. But inwardly, Kurama mused ' _Let the Fools dream.'_

When the Gang started to disperse, Sasuke lifted his Genjutsu before body-flickering. Naruto woke up groggily with only Kakashi in the room. As they left, the Gang had a single thought in mind 'They can’t wait for Friday to come.'

(Kurama’s right. _They had absolutely no idea what they signed up for._ )

* * *

_The Fateful Day (aka Friday)_

Ino was the _first_. And she’s definitely far from _the last._

‘That Fox better kept his word or else…’ Ino inwardly grumbled. She’s currently on her way towards the Tower to inform Naruto about the details of tonight’s gathering. When she arrived, the Hokage was standing facing the window, eyes far away as he silently sipped from his glass. _Wait._ Glass? ‘Since when did Naruto bother to use such things instead of drinking straight from the bottle’ Ino mused. Shrugging it off, she was about to call for his attention when Naruto spoke up.

“Ino--” he began. His back still turned on her. “--What do you think of our Konoha?”

Baffled at his quirky question, Ino’s intelligent reply was: “Umm. Come again?”

Naruto laughed soothingly. He slightly glanced at Ino to motion her forward. Intrigued, she decided to play along. Ino walked until she was standing next to the Hokage, both of them facing the window with the view of the Village.

"When I said I'll be Hokage, it was mostly cause' I wanted to be acknowledged. Looking back--" Naruto reminisced with a fond smile, "--I realized, I wanted _the power_ only the Village ruler could ever have."

 _"What_?" Ino almost squeaked in surprise turning to face him. Out of all the possible reasons Naruto could ever have for wanting the position, _Power_ was definitely not on the list. 

Chuckling, he continued: "Surprised? Honestly, I only realized it when Sasuke left Konoha. I--" At this point, Ino was completely transfixed. The genuineness of his voice only seemed to further captivate her. "--I wanted the power to make Konoha a _home_. A place where even Sasuke could never deny to return. Do you think--" the Hokage paused as he looked fondly at the Village, "--this is _that Konoha_?" Naruto gently inquired as he turned to face her. 

Seeing the sincerity at his cerulean eyes, Ino's words were completely stuck. In fact, she just _can't seem to breathe_. Ino had always known, Naruto is _charismatic_. Heck, she even joked once that she could fall for him. But, listening to him, to hear the purity of his intentions, Ino never imagined Naruto could be so… so _alluring._

"Ino?" He asked with a voice full of concern before putting his hand at her forehead. Ino can feel her cheeks heating up at his touch. Mentally shaking her head, she collected herself and removed his hand.

"I-I'm fine. J-just the heat--" she inwardly cursed as she kept on fumbling over her words "--And Yes. T-this Konoha is home, even to Sasuke." Ino ended the last words in a whisper, unconsciously playing with her fingers. 

At that, Naruto _beamed_. 

Ino briefly wondered if she’s caught in a _Genjutsu_. There’s no way Naruto could smile like… _like that._ _Oh God._ Since when did he have such a _charming, sweet smile_? Ino’s inner fangirl just wanted to swoon. _No._ She chastised herself. Ino decided she had to leave, _now._

(She has completely forgotten her reason for coming in the first place.)

“You know, Ino--” Naruto abruptly interrupted her thoughts. “--I’ve always wondered why you chose to grow your bangs this long.” His ocean-hued eyes staring intensely at her. For some unknown reason, Naruto’s gaze seems to make her feel _self-conscious._

“W-what? Are you saying it doesn’t suit me?” Ino snapped in embarrassment. 

Naruto laughed (read: huskily, in Ino’s ear). “No--” he shook his head, “On the contrary, it absolutely suits you. But--”

“--But?” She echoed whisperingly. 

“I’ve always liked seeing the fierceness of your azure eyes.” Naruto ended with a smile as he put her bangs behind her ears. 

Ino _blushed_ full force.

“I-I need to go. I’ll--” she stammered. The Hokage looked confused.

“Wait, Ino--” Naruto’s words were instantly cut off.

“--B-bye!” Ino immediately interjected in her hasty retreat.

“--You forgot to tell me the meeting place,” Naruto mumbled. However, his friend was already long gone. He wondered what brought the sudden change in her. Kurama snorted in his head. When asked, Naruto only received gibberish grumblings from the Kyuubi. Oh well. Guess, He’ll just find out later.

Unbeknownst to them, the Anbu on duty (aka Neji) witnessed the whole scene, blushing furiously at their interactions before promptly fainting in the cold, hard ground.

* * *

_To Be Continued_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! 
> 
> Hopefully, you enjoyed this update. Now, that's two down and more to go. I wonder how many could the Hokage charm. Hahaha. I know, I said I'll try to conclude this universe with just two chapters. But, I just can't. Also, work just kept me too occupied. Huhuh. Writing the Jinchuurikis scene was soooooo hard. Hahah. Anyways, I'll just add an Omake to make it up with you guys. Hahaha. Anyways, let me know your thoughts! Hopefully, the characters were not OOC.
> 
> Thank you and Stay safeeeee.
> 
> PS. I made Terumi Mei a Jinchuuriki of Isobu for fun. Hahaha. Hopefully, it wasn't that bad.


	8. Charmed by the Hokage (Finale): Naruto & Everyone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alcoholic AU. 
> 
> In which the Gang will learn the truth behind Kurama’s warning.
> 
> OR
> 
> The story of how a drunk Naruto unconsciously charmed everyone he interacted with, including the elusive Uchiha Itachi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> Thank you soooooo much for your comments about this universe! I honestly wanted to reply to each of them. Then I realized, what better response aside from uploading the finale? Hahaha. Anyways, here is it! Sorry for taking so long. Hopefully, it will meet your expectations. Enjoyyyy.
> 
> PS. This is kinda long. A close friend of mine told me I should add more descriptions? To give more vivid scenes? Anyways, this is my attempt. (Hopefully, it's not a failed attempt xD)

**_ World 6: _ **

Sakura was _next_. Too bad, she never saw it coming til’ _it was too late._

_Later that Day_

_Finally_. 

Sakura inwardly cheered as she stretched her limbs. Slouching slightly at her chair, she glanced at the clock. Noticing she still had half an hour away til’ the meeting time, the Medic Nin decided to head home and change. As Sakura was packing up her stuff, her thoughts wandered to yesterday’s event. She seriously can't wait to meet the Gang and _see Naruto drunk._ Smirking evilly in her head, she promised: they’ll have their revenge. 

(Sakura had absolutely no idea she's about to witness it a _whole lot sooner._ )

When she was just about to leave her office, the door slammed open with a cry of ‘Sakura’. Turning around, the Medic Nin was greeted by the sight of a slightly panicked Naruto carrying a (blissfully) unconscious Hinata in bridal style. 

Almost breathlessly, he explained. "She fainted.” Without wasting any second, Sakura put her stuff down as she gestured to place the Hyuuga on the sofa. 

Following her order, the Blonde gently (read: gracefully) laid down the unconscious Kunoichi. Sakura had to blink multiple times to make sure her eyes weren't fooling her. _Because Naruto and graceful does not belong in the same sentence_. However, her thoughts were abruptly interrupted when the Blonde spoke again.

"Sakura?" he inquired softly. Naruto was currently crouching on the floor to be at Hinata's eye level. His cerulean eyes were directed at her, giving Sakura a (completely endearing) concerned look. 

Mentally shaking her obscure thoughts away, the Medic Nin asked, “Naruto--” Sakura began as she crouched to make a quick scan of her vitals. Seeing nothing wrong, she continued, “--what did you do this time?” 

At that, the Hokage paused for a moment as he recalled the events a few moments ago. 

* * *

_Flashback_

On his way home, Naruto accidentally bumped into the Hyuuga Clan Heir. With a (read: spellbinding) smile, he greeted her with a warm ‘Hinata’.

Unsurprisingly, the Hyuuga turned red as she mumbled softly “H-hi, N-Naruto-kun.” 

At the sudden tint on her pale complexion, Naruto briefly wondered if it’s the heat as he recalled Ino being the same. Truthfully, the Blonde didn’t notice the change in the temperature. It felt the same as always.

(Inside him, Kurama watched the scene with a mixture of amusement and exasperation. Even with his Millenium worth of experiences and knowledge, the Kyuubi could never fathom how his Jinchuuriki managed to reach such _absurd conclusions_.) 

He was about to question her health when he remembered tonight’s gathering.”Hinata-chan? Can you tell me--"

(Hinata had always known that Naruto-kun had a pleasant voice. However, recalling all the years she'd known him, Hinata had never ever heard it to be _this pleasant_.)

"--the meeting place for tonight's gathering?" Naruto scratched the back of his neck shyly (which looked absolutely adorable to the Hyuuga). 

Not waiting for her reply, the Blonde supplied, "Ino kinda forgot to mention it." Naruto ended sheepishly. 

Hearing no response from the Hyuuga, the Blonde looked directly at her eyes and saw her staring blankly (read: dazing) at him. 

(At this moment, all Hinata could process was how different Naruto-kun's current voice was. It was, for the lack of a better term, _too pleasant…almost heavenly_.)

"Hinata-chan?" The Blonde inquired while waving a hand in front of her. This action instantly broke the Hyuuga's lovesick stupor. 

“O-oh. Umm--” she stammered refusing to meet his eyes, "I b-believe it’s in the A-Ace of Clubs t-this time." She ended, looking at her hands.

After absorbing her information, Naruto asked another question that's been bugging him during their entire conversation. “Hinata-chan, Why do you always look down when talking?" the Blonde gently asked as he closed the distance between them. 

(For some reason, Hinata's heart skipped a beat as his footsteps grew nearer.)

Still not meeting his eyes, Hinata stuttered as she played with her fingers, "W-well. U-umm--" 

"Hinata-chan." He abruptly interjected, almost chidingly.

The Blonde’s footsteps stopped. Still, it didn’t ease Hinata’s pounding heart. In fact, it _caused the opposite_. He continued.

"You should stop shying away. After all, it's--" Naruto gently nudged her chin upwards to meet her in the eye. "--a shame to hide such a beautiful face." He ended with a reassuring (read: enchanting) smile. 

At that, Hinata's heart reached its limit. And the (poor) Kunoichi _went to heaven_ (metaphorically).

(From the looks of it, Fainting is a _Hyuuga thing_.)

_End of Flashback_

* * *

At the end of the memory, Naruto shook his head as he replied, "Nothing. We were just talking." Sakura eyed him dubiously. "Then suddenly, she fainted. Maybe it's the heat?” the Blonde offered before adding," Hinata was also kinda red. Actually--" Inwardly, the Medic Nin snorted. Hinata’s _always red_ next to Naruto. “--even Ino was a little flushed.”

Sakura arched an eyebrow at his remark. However, glancing at the unconscious Hyuuga who appeared to be _too happy_ , she concluded: _It definitely wasn’t the heat_. Still, her pride as a Medic Nin refused to simply dismiss it with a stupid case of _love-sickness._ Calling up some green chakra in her hand, she began to check her. As minutes passed, Sakura could notice him staring. And for some unfathomable reason, his gaze seems to unnerve (read: fluster) her. Finally had enough, she cleared her throat.

“Uhh. Naruto, why are you staring at me? It's umm--” The rest of her words were left hanging. Since there’s absolutely no way Sakura could say it’s _distracting her_. 

“Sorry, Sakura--” Naruto rubbed his cheeks with a finger before adding, “--it's just that I'm glad. Now--” The Blonde paused as he focused his gaze entirely on Hinata. “--I know she's in good hands.” The Medic Nin eyed him in the corner of her eye, giving him an inquisitive look to which Naruto responded with a chuckle. 

Sakura stopped. She didn’t just hear Naruto _laugh seductively_ , did she? Sakura never got a chance to contemplate further as she heard him speak again.

“After all, no matter what state I’m in, even on the brink of death. I’ll--” 

The Blonde’s gaze might still be directed at the unconscious Kunoichi but Sakura knew the fond look in Naruto's eyes was _for her_. This thought, alone, seems to make her feel hotter and cause some palpitations. Maybe her teammate was right, the heat was catching up on her. 

(Translation: Sakura vehemently refuses the possibility of getting flustered _cause' of Naruto._ In other words, she’s in a serious case of denial).

“--always trust you with every inch of my life, Sakura.” He ended with an upward quirk on his lips. 

_Okay._ Sakura had always known _she’s a damn good medic,_ almost on par with her Shishou if not better. But to hear somebody, especially their Hokage, compliment her skills _at this level of sincerity_ , the Medic Nin can't just help but be a little (read: immensely) _flattered_. Worse of all, Naruto worded his compliment like a _freaking confession._ And a _bloody_ _good one_ to boot. Sakura concluded: _Naruto has to leave_.

(Sakura doesn’t know if she can handle any more confession-like-compliments.)

“Naruto, you need to prepare for tonight and leave, _now._ ” Instantly, the Blonde turned at her to protest, which she effectively countered with: “I can handle this.” Sakura inhaled a deep breath before adding, “Trust me.”

At that, the Blonde gave Hinata a warm (affectionate) pat as he nodded in understanding. Naruto stood up and walked towards the room as the Medic Nin escorted him. Somewhere in her mind, Inner Sakura triumphed at successfully evading another embarrassing moment. 

(Unfortunately, she cheered too soon).

The moment Naruto was out of the room, Sakura abruptly closed the door only to be stopped by the Blonde’s foot. Teasingly, he asked “So eager to kick me out?” The Blonde ended with a smirk. Embarrassed at being caught, the Medic Nin spluttered.

“N-No! I-I wasn't--” 

“--I’m kidding.” Naruto interrupted as he laughed.

 _‘Oh God. There’s that laugh again_.’ This was all Sakura’s mind could think. (Un) Fortunately, she heard the Blonde continue as he put both hands in his pockets.

“I just wanted to say...” Naruto paused as he leaned slightly until his lips were an inch away from Sakura’s right ear. Sweetly, he whispered “ _Thank you, Sakura._ ”

With that, Naruto left, completely unaware of _his effect_. This time. She was _absolutely flustered_ , and not even Inner Sakura could reign over the heat that dominated her features.

* * *

_A few moments later…_

_Click._

After closing her door, Sakura spoke out. “Sai. You and I will never speak of this incident, _again_.” The Medic Nin threatened as she futilely tried to control her redness. 

And Sai? The ex-root member mutely nodded in response, still too stupefied at what he just witnessed to make any smart-ass remarks.

* * *

_At the Ace of Clubs_

Tenten was getting _impatient_. 

The Kunoichi has been sitting by the counter near the entrance with her three companions. She’s already been here twenty minutes prior to the meeting time. It’s been more than an hour since then. And _Naruto still hasn't arrived._ In fact, the entire Gang was here. Well, most of them. For some unknown reason, both the Hyuugas and Sai went MIA while Ino and Sakura were called in for extra work. Tenten believed it was quite suspicious, especially Sai’s case. But, she didn’t dwell unto it much. After all, it was their loss.

(Later, Tenten will regret not following them when she had the chance.) 

“Maybe the Kyuubi duped you kids.” Genma, her sparring partner, nonchalantly commented as he took another sip. Tenten simply rolled her eyes at his stupid remark. However, her other companions weren't having any of it. Simultaneously, the two protested:

"NO! THE--" Lee passionately declared.

"I honestly don't--" Yamato-taichou voiced out, slightly agitated.

And she muted them out. 

For the sake of her thinning patience (and sanity), she’s not gonna deal with _these idiots_. Seriously, where the hell is Neji when you need him? Tenten sighed in frustration. A few more minutes passed until she heard the door open. 

_Cling._

The door chimes reverberated as Naruto entered the bar. In an instant, the Kunoichi was on her feet, handing him a glass of the _strongest booze_ as a greeting.

“Hey, Naruto.” Tenten amicably welcomed him. The trio was trailing behind her. 

“Oh. Tenten--” the Blonde accepted the glass before adding, “--Thanks.” Naruto drank the entire glass with just a gulp. Tenten was just about to question his late arrival when they all heard him.

_Hic._

‘Did Naruto just--’ Tenten never got a chance to finish her thoughts as the Blonde immediately responded.

“Sorry. Hahah” he apologized sheepishly “I guess, the alcohol on this one--” Naruto stared directly at his glass, whirling it slowly “--just surprised me.” He paused, eyes shifting among them as he inquired curiously. “How much content does it have?” 

Yamato-taichou was just about to answer when Genma cut in.

“Hokage-sama, you drank, _again_ \--” the Senbon Jounin took the empty glass in Naruto’s hand “--while working, didn’t you?” he lazily interrogated as he requested another bottle for the Hokage.

“Genma, since when I didn’t have a drink?” Naruto chuckled in response. Hearing his laugh, Tenten raised an eyebrow. Call it a woman’s instinct or what-so-ever. Something was absolutely wrong with the tone of that laugh.

“Are you drunk?” Tenten blurted out.

The Kunoichi knew she shouldn’t have asked that question _this early_. However, Naruto had been drinking the whole day and they were here to confirm his intoxication. So confirming it was what she did. 

Predictably, Naruto laughed. “My dear Tenten--”

 _What?_ Tenten’s mind just short-circuited, even Genma had to take a double-take. In the background, Yamato-taichou choked on his drink while Lee tried to help him.

“--You know _I can’t get drunk_.” Naruto stressed, chuckling at the incredulity of her remark. His companions, on the other hand, were not sharing the Blonde’s amusement. Trying to lighten up the mood, the Senbon Jounin teased.

“Told yah, you were duped.” Genma teased as he poked Tenten’s right cheek incessantly. 

After a few more poking, the last bit of Tenten’s patience _snapped_. 

Drawing a Senbon behind her hair, the Kunoichi was just about to threaten Genma with castration when Naruto swiftly cut in, snatching the weapon from Tenten’s hand as he stood between them. Meanwhile, Genma (aka the victim) wisely stayed behind the Blonde’s back as he watched the scene in interest.

“Tenten--” Naruto slowly began, “--be careful with how you hold these things.” He ended soothingly as he raised the Senbon to make his point.

Offended, Tenten automatically shifted his anger to the Blonde as she demanded, “What? Are you implying--”

“--No. Tenten, I--” the Blonde instantly corrected (soothingly) as he fondly touched her hand.

Tenten had never been the type to _freak out_ when touched by a guy. With Gai-sensei and Lee as a teacher and teammate, personal space was basically non-existent. Heck. The entire Gang technically didn't care about proximities and boundaries. They hug, cuddle and do all other shits (but nothing sexual) like they were a family. So Yeah. In conclusion, Naruto holding (read: caressing) her hand shouldn't be affecting her _this much_. However, Tenten never got the chance to sort her emotions as he added. 

“--know your skills are unparalleled. I just…" Naruto paused as he gently placed the Senbon on her palm. His hand never left hers. 

(If Tenten wasn’t _too focused on Naruto’s hand_ , she would’ve smelled the stench of alcohol on the Blonde at their closeness.) 

"I don't want you to see you hurt. After all, you're--"

 _That_ was one of the most classic wooing lines. And _this was Naruto._ Even with this knowledge, Tenten had absolutely no idea why she's feeling _bashful_ all of a sudden. 

"--my _precious friend._ " He ended with an (enticing) smile before letting go of her hand (Tenten will forever deny she ever missed the warmth of Naruto’s hand over hers). 

_This time_. Tenten's mind just broke. The Senbon from Genma’s mouth fell while Yamato-taichou, once again, choked over his drink. 

(Unfortunately) Before Naruto could question their (not-so) strange reactions, Kakashi appeared out of nowhere beside him.

"Maa, Naruto-kun--" he interjected as he slung an arm over the Blonde's shoulders "Maybe you should join Sasuke-kun and the others. They've been waiting for you some time now." 

Without waiting for any response, Kakashi nudged the Hokage to the crowd towards the direction of the Gang, completely ignoring the dumbfounded looks of the rest.

(Somewhere inside the bar, Shino, who managed to overhear everything through his Kikaichū, accidentally _slammed_ himself into a pillar as he walked, surprising the occupants nearby.)

* * *

It was Genma who recovered first.

"Kakashi, You _knew_." The Senbon Jounin bluntly stated. Unsurprisingly, this broke the others of their stupor, triggering a series of reactions.

And Kakashi? The Rokudaime simply answered with an eye smile before disappearing in the crowd.

* * *

_Meanwhile..._

As Naruto wiggled his way around the dance floor, he could feel the drowsiness in his head, making him almost lose his balance. The Blonde mused, ‘Maybe, I shouldn’t have drank too much before the party.’ 

"Naruto! Over here!" Kiba boisterously called as he waved a hand with a wide grin. 

The remaining members of the Gang (aka Kiba, Sasuke, Shikamaru, and Chouji) were situated at the far-end corner of the bar. Sasuke and Shikamaru were sitting facing each other, the former had his back turned from the Blonde with an empty spot next to him (most likely reserved for Naruto). Beside the Nara, Chouji had a whole table for himself served with numerous dishes while Kiba was at the edge of the table, situated between the Nara and the Uchiha. The Gang was occupying at least 3 tables with the amount of food (for Chouji) and liquor they had ordered. All the while, Akamaru was blissfully dozing off on the floor near them. 

Seeing the overgrown Ninken, Naruto raised the bottle in his hand and gave a wide grin as a greeting before settling himself comfortably next to Akamaru. Sasuke and Shikamaru looked at him oddly while Kiba smirked evilly. 

"Hey! Did you just--" he gave the Blonde an accusing finger "--choose Akamaru over us?" The Inuzuka screamed in mock hysterics. 

The Uchiha gave him a dry look. Why the Dog-Breath chose the betrayed lover act is beyond him. As if this farce could spice the situation in any way. 

(Sasuke had absolutely no idea how wrong he was.) 

The Nara, on the other hand, appeared to be amused while the Akimichi ignored them in favor of his food. Catching up in the game, Naruto decided to play along. 

"What can I say, he is comfy." The Blonde casually responded before finishing the bottle on his hand. 

At the tone of his voice, Shikamaru frowned. He can't really pinpoint it out but something was different. Noting the expressions of his companions, he guessed none of them noticed it. Shrugging it aside, the Young Advisor simply handed another bottle for Naruto to devour. To which the latter happily obliged as he amusingly listened to Kiba's made-up drama. Shikamaru handed Naruto another booze. After all, they were here to make him drunk. 

"--you're breaking my heart here, Naruto." The Inuzuka shook his head with a feign hurt expression. "And here, I thought I was one of your important people-" 

" _Kiba_." 

* * *

_This time._

All of them noticed the change in his timbre. They (primarily Sasuke and Shikamaru) were watching Naruto intently, even Chouji stopped at his eating spree. The Blonde might not be using his Hokage tone, but Kiba knew when an Alpha spoke. The mere mention of his name sent shivers in his spine (but in a good way). 

"Kiba--" Naruto sat up. Looking straight at the Inuzuka’s eyes, he repeated "You are important to me. _I mean it_.” He emphasized, his voice turning into a deep tenor.

Kiba was _totally clueless_ on how he should react. If he’d be honest, the Inuzuka was absolutely touched (and flattered). But, they were playing the How-Could-You-Choose-Akamaru-Over-Me game (He just made it up) so there’s a possibility Naruto just said that to win. Still... The Blonde’s statement was just _too genuine_ to be a joke. Whether it was part of the game or not, Kiba still shouldn’t be feeling any warmth _or something._ Cause’ that’ll just be...

 _"Gay"_ Sasuke deadpanned. Once again, rolling his eyes at their drama. 

Instantly, Naruto and Chouji burst into laughter. The latter fruitlessly tried to stifle his chuckles while Shikamaru smirked. At their reactions, Kiba blushed. Standing from his chair, he vehemently protested.

“W-WHAT. I-I’M NOT--” And the rest of his words (read: denials) were drowned in the peals of laughter.

“Okay. Enough--” still chuckling, Naruto wheezed out. “--with the teasing. But seriously guys, it applies to _all of you_.” His cerulean eyes shifting among them.

_Silence._

At their silence, Naruto scratched his cheeks with a finger before adding, “You guys are making me feel like I just made a love declaration.” he sheepishly commented. 

Kiba was absolutely tempted to point out: _He just did_. However, pointing such fact would also reveal that the Blonde’s words did feel like a confession _to him._ And he refused to be the first one to voice it out. Thankfully (or not), Sasuke spoke up (read: demanded).

“Why.” The Uchiha clipped solemnly, face completely devoid of any emotions. 

“Sasuke--” Naruto stressed his name as if his teammate just asked a ridiculous question “--you’re essentially _my brother in everything but blood._ ” Without waiting any further, the Blonde added. “Shika--” He drawled the Nara’s nickname for emphasis. “--You and Chouji are my oldest friends. _You were one of the firsts._ ” 

The trio was absolutely stunned. None of them had expected this kind of… _revelations_ (Surprisingly, all of them inwardly dismissed the idea of ‘confessions’). However, not even Shikamaru could deny he did feel _special_. Judging by Chouji’s bashful smile and Sasuke’s constipated look, the Nara concluded they also felt the same. He briefly wondered the Inuzuka’s case. Shikamaru heard the Blonde yawned before centering his gaze to Kiba (the next victim).

“Lastly, Kiba--” Naruto softly began as he momentarily paused.

At the mention of his name, Kiba had the urge to cover his ears and _run_. Instead, he grabbed another bottle in a futile attempt to erase this _unknown emotion._ He might love ego-boosting remarks and alike. _But…_ Naruto’s words had this _jittering effect_ (read: butterflies) in his stomach. Or maybe he already had too much drink. Kiba's thoughts were abruptly cut as the cause of his dilemma continued. 

“--you might not believe it but--” For some reason, Naruto's cerulean eyes seemed to be gleaming under the night light (in Kiba's perspective) “--you were _my first friend._ ” 

* * *

Standing up, Naruto dusted the dirt off his pants. When he was finished, the Blonde walked towards Kiba _with a grin_. The latter instinctively took a step back. Meanwhile, Shikamaru wisely used his family's jutsu, seizing Sasuke's shadow to prevent the Uchiha from disrupting the scene (translation: exploding from envy). 

With his right hand, Naruto clasped the bottle on Kiba’s hand, the Blonde’s fingers _overlapping his_. As Naruto began to open his mouth, Kiba intuitively gulped. 

[Later, the Inuzuka admits his reaction might be cowardly. But in Kiba’s defense, Naruto’s strangeness was too much, especially for his mind (read: heart). Adding up the hateful glares of the Sharingan user for taking the ‘first friend’ title, his reactions were totally _justified_. After all, it was a universal fact that the Uchiha can be _one-hell-of-a-possessive friend_. Completely on par, if not more to Ino and Sakura’s crazy fangirling when they were younger (in Kiba’s opinion).]

 _“Mine."_ The Blonde proudly declared as he stole the bottle from Kiba's hand and drank, a seductive smirk gracing his lips. 

Finishing the bottle in one gulp, Naruto let out a satisfied ‘phew’ before slumping comfortably in Kiba’s chair. Seeing the Inuzuka’s flabbergasted expression, he playfully taunted. 

“What did you expect I was about to do?” Shikamaru released Sasuke from his Jutsu as both of them snickered. The latter’s jealousy had fully subsided. Naruto teasingly supplied: “Eat you? I don't bite that much, Kiba.” he ended with a chuckle. The Akimichi following his lead. 

This broke Kiba from his (lovestruck) daze. The Inuzuka turned to face them, his face reddening as he exclaimed. “S-So it was--” another bottle was handed to the laughing Hokage “--all a ruse!”

“Naaah.” Naruto offhandedly countered as he took a sip before clarifying, “I mean. _You_ are my first friend, Kiba. It’s just...You always had your ways with animals. I’m sure Akamaru here--” side-glancing at the sleeping Ninken with a fond look “--will agree.”

“What’s your--” The Inuzuka’s question was cut off as Naruto expounded. 

(Their companions, on the other hand, were attentively listening to their conversation. One of them, namely Sasuke, with a hint of spite directed at Kiba. The latter discreetly moved closer to Akamaru, slowly crouching behind him. Just for...safety.)

“I think--” he pondered out loud “When I was younger, I believed I was more in-sync with Kurama than I originally thought. With my wild survival instincts and such.” Naruto stretched his limbs to ease some of his drowsiness. “In a way, Kiba--” eyeing the Inuzuka with an (affectionate) look “--you just seem to connect better with us. Or should I say, _with me._ ” He solemnly concluded before withdrawing his gaze from the Inuzuka as he yawned.

Kiba, on the other hand, snuggled with Akamaru on the floor, hiding his flustered face behind the Ninken's fur.

* * *

_A few moments later…_

Naruto finished chugging two more bottles of booze. Seeing the empty bottles from the Blonde, Shikamaru offered. 

"Want more?" he inquired, holding another booze to the Blonde to which Chouji disapproved. 

"Shika, I don't think--" 

Naruto cut him off with a shrug as he accepted the bottle. As he consumed the liquor, Shikamaru and Chouji were keenly searching for any signs of drunkenness. Perceiving none, they went back to their business, leaving the Blonde to savor his drink. 

(Meanwhile, as Kiba snuggled further to Akamaru, he concluded: _He had enough._ And went to ignore the rest of the world).

After taking a few sips, Naruto yawned. None of them seemed to attribute his increasing sleepiness (or changes) to intoxication. 

(All the while, Sasuke was _brooding_ the entire time.)

* * *

'What the hell. I'm a little jealous' 

Upon realizing what he just thought, Sasuke visibly blanched. Unfortunately, this reaction didn't escape the Nara’s calculating eyes as he smirked. 

“Feeling Jelly?” Shikamaru playfully teased. 

In an instant, the Uchiha viciously glared at him. With a triumphed look, the Young Advisor raised both his hands in mock surrender while Chouji smiled at their antics. Before Sasuke could lash out at the goading Nara, his teammate called for his attention.

"Sasuke?" Naruto faintly mumbled. 

" _What_." The Uchiha spat venomously. His furious eyes were still sending daggers at Shikamaru. Observing the duo with his chin nestled on his right palm, Naruto outwardly mused.

“You know… You've always reminded me of Kurama.” Instantly, three pairs of eyes were directed at him, two with inquisitive looks. “Well--” dragging out the syllables, Naruto fondly gibed, “--an Uchiha version of him.” He ended with a faint grin, to which Sasuke (unsurprisingly) returned with a scowl. The Blonde effortlessly blew him off in favor of his drink. 

Snickering, Shikamaru casually supplied. “I can totally see the resemblance, a--”

 _“Save it"_ Sasuke spitefully countered.

“--grumpy, chakra-monster _furball._ ” The Nara concluded as the Uchiha snarled (if possible, Shikamaru’s smirk just got wider). 

Despite the menacing air surrounding Sasuke, Chouji simply decided to go about his business (aka binging on his food). After all, he’s positive Shika’s smart to know when he’d gone too far. Once again, they heard the Blonde’s voice in almost a murmur. 

“Maybe--” Naruto sluggishly drawled “--that's why I chased you to til the edge of the world. I think... I've--” His gaze focused on the Uchiha, cerulean eyes locking with onyx black ones. 

The moment their eyes met, Sasuke was in a _predicament_. Apart from a nagging sensation that the Kyuubi was right, he can't just seem to _tear his gaze_ away (Note: Sasuke already tried). Truthfully, it felt like the other was looking directly at his soul. Worst of all, the longer he stared at the Blonde's (tantalizing) eye, the more Sasuke noticed _stupid things_ , such as the Dope's long eyelashes or the way his ocean-hued irises seemed to _glow brighter_ tonight, sparking a certain feeling of giddiness. Dispelling those _disturbing_ thoughts away, Sasuke conceded it was the Alcohol talking (or not).

"--always unconsciously known that you're a _part of me._ And…I'll--" The Blonde paused as he yawned, unconsciously shifting closer to his teammate. 

Sasuke can feel his blush surfacing. _No._ It was the _heat_ caused by the Alcohol. There’s absolutely no way he's, in any way, _flustered_. Cause’ Sasuke's a proud Uchiha. And Uchihas _do not blush_ (if only he knew.)

"--never be complete without you by my side." Naruto sleepily concluded, leaning his body on the Uchiha. His face nuzzling further on Sasuke’s left shoulder. 

At the Blonde’s insensitive (in Sasuke’s opinion) gesture, whatever effort he put to contain the _freaking heat_ on his cheeks were absolutely overturned. 

(Sasuke vehemently refused to acknowledge the burning of his face as a blush.) 

"G-get off me! Y-you--" A red-faced Sasuke began to splutter. "--Dope!" He pushed the Blonde off of him. The Uchiha’s sudden, rough movement ultimately disturbed Naruto’s half-slumber, causing him to almost fall on the floor.

* * *

“And here we thought--” Chortling, Shikamaru caught the Blonde with his shadows, “--you’re only a _tsundere_ when _drunk”_ The Young Advisor teased a scowling (flustered) Sasuke as he steadied Naruto back to his seat.

“ _Fuck off, Nara.”_ The Uchiha hissed warningly, Sharingan eyes flaring at him. 

Despite Chouji’s cautious and worried looks, Shikamaru simply grinned. Sasuke has always been easy (and entertaining) to rile up, especially concerning a certain Blonde.

(Later, he's gonna regret teasing the Uchiha too much. After all, Karma's a _real bitch_ ) 

Speaking of Naruto, the Nara turned to his friend before commenting, “Naruto--” the Blonde looked at him groggily as he yawned “--you seriously stink.” The Young Advisor noted, to which Naruto replied with a smooth laugh. Mentally counting the empty boozes near the Blonde, Shikamaru inquired. “How many bottles of Sake did you already ingest?” Without waiting for a response, he supplied. “Let me guess, around 30? 35?”

“You always--” Naruto chuckled softly. “--know the right answers, Shika.” He responded as the Blonde grabbed another untouched bottle. 

Stealing the liquor before Naruto could seize it, Shikamaru reprimanded. “No, you had enough for the night, Hokage-sama.” 

Chouji, Sasuke, and (the newly revived) Kiba eyed him ridiculously for that remark. To which, the Nara returned with a pointed look. Honestly, sometimes it felt like his title as the Young Advisor meant to be the Village’s or the Hokage’s babysitter (to be more precise). Contrary to his friend’s beliefs, Shikamaru hadn’t forgotten their _little mission._ Recalling the Blonde’s interactions with Kiba and Sasuke, he’s positive Naruto’s drunk (It’s not his fault if the others still hadn’t caught up). In other words, it’s safe to surmise that Shikamaru had seen enough. 

“Shika?” Out of nowhere, Naruto called as he rested his head over his arms “Have I ever mentioned how happy I was when you said you'll be my advisor?” He inquired drowsily, slowly closing his eyes.

 _No._ Sensing the flow of this conversation, Shikamaru would really rather not know and be subjected to Naruto’s (charming) drunk ramblings, especially if he could help it. 

(Too bad, not even the smartest Nara had any say in this matter). 

“Yeah. But we should leave for now,” Shikamaru offhandedly dismissed as he tried to escape (keyword: tried) “I’ll just pay--”

“--We’ll do it!” Kiba raucously exclaimed as he put an arm around Chouji. Without wasting another second, the Inuzuka hauled the oblivious Akimichi.

And then, they were gone.

* * *

_Tsk._

Shikamaru inwardly clicked his tongue in annoyance. Not only Kiba ruined his plan, but the idiot puppy also escaped. ‘What a drag’ The Nara mutely sighed. Unfortunately (for him), Naruto took this opportunity to speak up.

“No Shika.” The Blonde solemnly corrected, opening an eye towards the Nara “I’m not kidding. I mean it…” Naruto stressed as he nestled deeper into his arms. ”If Sasuke’s my Kurama--” Predictably, the Uchiha (once again) flushed “--then, you’re my affinity: the _wind._ ”

Truthfully, Shikamaru doesn’t know what to think of _that metaphor._ And that’s something given he’s _a Nara,_ the _brightest one_ for the last three generations or so. Momentarily closing his eyes, the Young Advisor released a deep breath to clear up his mind. 

(If he can’t evade it, then he’ll find a way to deflect it or at least minimize the impact of Naruto’s words. The Nara already accepted the fact that the _Blonde’s charms_ were affecting him.)

Shogi’s most basic strategy is to simulate all the possible moves of their opponent, to know what to expect and prepare a counter. So _Think._ Shikamaru inwardly berated himself. There’s got to be _something_ , a common denominator between him and the wind. Maybe--

(Unfortunately) Before his mind could even conceive any hypothesis, Sasuke, who’d been silent for quite a while, (sarcastically) inquired.

“The wind?” The Uchiha’s eyes were glinting evilly as he further probed. “Care to _elaborate_ it further, Dope?” He ended with a smug look, which definitely translates as ‘Payback-time’ (in Shikamaru’s opinion). 

Unfortunately for the Nara (once again), Sasuke’s question did not only shatter his chances to formulate a counter against Naruto, but it also seemed to spark some interest in the latter, diffusing some of the Blonde’s drowsiness. 

“Sure--” Naruto blinked as he straightened himself, stretching his limbs a bit “--Although I think Shika already has an idea? Wanna guess?” he inquired eagerly, his body slightly tilting to the direction of the Nara. 

When the Young Advisor was about to answer, the (evil) Uchiha silently stomped his feet, _painfully_ , as he waved a hand for Naruto to continue. It took all of his effort to stop the curse from escaping his mouth (After all, they wouldn’t want to alarm the _drunk_ Hokage).

‘Cunning snake’ Shikamaru thought as he gave him an annoyed stare in return. Fortunately (or not), the Blonde's sleepiness was beginning to return.

“Shika--” Naruto poked his cheeks, drawing the Nara’s eyes away from the Uchiha. “--you're a sailor’s wind: the wind which blows the ship to its right direction, never once failing to bring us back to our course. Yet--” Naruto yawned as he (once again) rested on the table, his crossed arms supporting his head. 

The Hokage slightly tilted his head to glimpse on his friend. Shikamaru, on the other hand, was looking anywhere but Naruto. He refused to fall for the Blonde’s cerulean eyes (dazzling look).

“--you’re also so free and completely untameable. Honestly... I wasn’t sure if I could convince you to be my advisor.” The Blond paused as he gave him a sheepish smile, lightly scratched the back of his neck.

Shikamaru honestly begs to differ. No matter how troublesome it might be, if the Blonde asked, he'll do it in a heartbeat. At this point, the Young Advisor's positive Naruto could sweet-talk him into anything, like exactly what he's doing _right now._

“I was really nervous when waiting for your response. So--" Naruto's eyelashes were fluttering slowly (read: mesmerizingly) as he recalled "--I kinda pestered Kurama about it. Like _a lot_ , which annoyed the hell out of him. Haha.” He ended with a soft chuckle before commenting, “Anyways, I’m getting off track. My point is... It’s not the main reason why _I only ever wanted you, Shika._ ” 

There was something _absolutely_ _wrong_ with that one sentence. And he doesn't have to be a _genius_ to know. However, his mind didn’t even bother processing the meaning behind Naruto’s (highly suggestive) words. The Nara simply rejected it. Truthfully, Shikamaru doesn’t know if he can handle any more of _it_. Meanwhile, Sasuke's _stiffened._ The Uchiha's mind was in a complete turmoil with his teammate's (not-so) little declaration of _'I only ever wanted you, Shika.'_

“It’s kinda like how my affinity power-ups my Jutsus. Shika, you’re the wind behind every Konoha Ninja--” 

Naruto looked straight at his Advisor’s eyes. _This time._ There’s no way the Nara could evade the Blonde’s piercing gaze. Shikamaru audibly gulped. With a slight quirk in the lips, the Hokage continued.

“--the invisible force which makes a leaf _soar_. Don't you see, Shika? I'll--” Naruto extended his arm, placing a palm above the Nara's hand. Oblivious to his Advisor's reddening face, he continued "--be absolutely _lost_ without you.” 

And with that, Shikamaru completely fell into Naruto’s charms _hook, line and sinker._

* * *

“--absolutely lost without you.”

 _Oh My._ He almost blurted out in surprise. What a highly _indecent_ statement. Kakashi couldn’t be prouder. Judging from Shikamaru's enamored and Sasuke’s horror-stricken expressions, it seems like he’d better jump in and save the day. 

“You look a little tired, Naruto-kun.” The Rokudaime began as he appeared behind the Blonde, one hand holding his precious book open. “Let’s go home, shall we?” He lazily suggested.

Turning to his sensei’s direction, Naruto nodded as he agreed. “Okay. All this--” The Blonde let out a large yawn while Kakashi tucked his novel in his pocket, “--talk is making me sleepy.” 

As Naruto began to leave, his clumsy (yet adorable) movements triggered a chain of (unfortunate) events, which will not only forever burn in the memory of the spectators, but also mark this day as the Forbidden-Friday or Kakashi’s Doomsday (according to Sasuke).

Basically, what happened was: (1) Shikamaru and Sasuke were abruptly startled by the Blonde’s motion, accidentally breaking some empty bottle by jostling it to the floor. This, in return, caused (2) Naruto to lose his balance while (3) Kakashi swiftly moved to catch him.

And lastly, _Chuu._

Kakashi _kissed_ Naruto straight on the lips.

 _Bittersweet._ The Rokudaime noted the second their lips touched. He reckoned that the bitter after taste in the Blonde’s mouth might be the alcohol’s influence. Meanwhile, Shikamaru and Sasuke’s minds were absolutely _shattered_ , too lost for words. 

Somewhere, a choking sound and a pin-drop of Senbon can be heard as their spectators (aka Kiba, Chouji, and Genma) witnessed their horrendous (read: heartbreaking) scene.

The moment their lips parted, the Blonde fell limp in his arms, totally dead to the world. After giving Naruto a fond pat, the Rokudaime comfortably situated the slumbering Hokage in a piggyback. When they were ready to leave, the silver-haired ninja directly faced Naruto’s two other companions as he proclaimed.

“Well, then. We’ll be leaving now--” He never got to finish his words as two snapped out of their shock, ready to maul him to death (mostly the Uchiha). 

Before any bloodshed could occur, Shikamaru wisely used his Shadow Jutsu to pin Kakashi and Sasuke to their place. The latter’s Sharingan eyes were furiously scowling at the two. 

‘Oh dear, Sasuke-kun looks _very unhappy_.’ The Silver-haired Ninja mused. 

(This was a complete understatement of the century, Kakashi)

Eyeing the Nara, Kakashi noted the displeasure in his features. He guessed he’ll have no choice but entertain them for now. One of their other spectators, who arrived exactly at the time of _the kiss_ , took this opportunity to demand an explanation from the Rokudaime (translations: Naruto’s assailant).

“W-Why did y-you k-k--” Kiba can’t seem to utter the _cursed K_.

“Kiss?” Kakashi offhandedly offered to which the Inuzuka responded with a gagging noise. This earned another vicious glare from the Uchiha. For some reason, the shadows seemed to creep dangerously around his neck, ready to suffocate the silver-haired ninja. 

“Maa. Don’t be jealous--” Instantly, the shadows around his neck felt _tighter_ as their surroundings plunged into a void, most probably a Genjutsu (courtesy of the Sharingan). _‘Wrong answer.’_ Kakashi inwardly concluded with a hint of amusement. As much as he wanted to continue teasing Naruto’s overprotective friends, the Rokudaime doesn’t really want to spend a night or week in the hospital. In fact, judging from the expression of the two (aka Sasuke and Shikamaru) landing in the hospital will be an act of mercy. ‘Okay. No more jokes.’ Kakashi decided. He’d better end this quickly lest he wanted to be dead. 

“Haha. Well--” Kakashi laughed nervously as he began “--it’s the only way to stop Naruto-kun’s unconscious roundabout ways of hoarding admirers. You know, like how a kiss breaks a spell in fairytales.” 

At his response, the Nara released his (threatening) hold on him. The instant he could move again, the Rokudaime discreetly returned his mask in place as he dissolved the Uchiha’s Genjutsu. 

(Nobody noticed that Kakashi had his mask down the entire time. All too fixated with the ‘ _kiss affair’_ ).

When Sasuke was about to erupt in fury, Shikamaru interrupted. “But, how did you knew?”

In a blink, Kakashi brought out his beloved Icha-icha Tactics. His other hand still supporting the sleeping Hokage in his back as he proudly read. “I quote: _With the right drink, even an Idiot could be so charming..._ ” Flipping a few pages, he continued, “. _..only a kiss could break such spells._ ” He ended as he closed his book shut. With an eye-smile, Kakashi explained. “Tactics was released after their training trip, which also means after the drunken incident involving your brother, Sasuke-kun. Also--” the Uchiha sent him another death stare, “--the character Jiraiya-sama was describing as the _Idiot_ was totally based on Naruto-kun’s personality. And look--“ The Rokudaime slightly turned his head, almost as if to point at the snoozing Blonde over his shoulders as he commented "--it actually works."

With that, Shikamaru nodded while Chouji and Kiba reluctantly accepted his explanation. However, the Uchiha was not convinced, _not at all._ Their sensei had always been a _pervert_. There’s got to be another motive for that _kiss_.

(Sasuke had never been right about anything aside from _this one._ )

“Besides--” The Rokudaime drawled with a knowing look. Somehow, Shikamaru had a bad feeling about this. “--the _sweet taste_ of Naruto-kun’s lip was just a bonus.” He remarked almost teasingly.

And _Poof._

Kakashi disappeared (read: escaped) with their Hokage before the Uchiha’s Amaterasu could touch him, leaving the others to deal with Sasuke’s _wrath_. 

* * *

_Somewhere in the Bar_

“I wonder what’s that ruckus all about.” Tenten pondered, asking no one specific. 

Beside her, Yamato-taichou shrugged as he continued to drown away the memories of a _drunk Naruto_ with a drink _._ Lee, on the other hand, went to check the commotion, to see if he could be of any help. 

(Shino wisely left the bar after his indirect encounter with the drunk Hokage.)

It was Genma who gave out a cryptic response to her question.

“Trust me. You don’t wanna know.”

He commented as he continued cleaning his fallen Senbon after picking it up (once again) from the floor. Recalling the Kunoichi’s smitten expression towards the Blonde, Genma decided. There’s no need to raise Tenten’s concern over the _kiss incident._ He’d rather take his little secret to the grave.

* * *

_The Next Day_

Unsurprisingly, the entire Gang was called by the Hokage at the Tower. When they arrived, Naruto was busy signing his papers while the Rokudaime was casually reading his favorite novel, lingering behind him. 

Inside his office, they settled themselves into groups. The girls were mostly among themselves while the guys were scattered around the room, with the quiet ones (aka Sasuke, Neji, Shino, and Sai) leaning by the walls. The former vengefully glaring at his teacher. He still hasn’t forgotten Kakashi’s little stunt _last night._

“Oh. You’re here.” Naruto greeted them as he stopped his scribblings. 

Putting his pen aside, the Blonde stretched his limbs to relieve some stress. Sheepishly, he asked. "I heard from Kurama I actually got drunk?" Naruto trailed the last words as he scratched his whiskered cheeks with a finger.

_Silence._

Seeing how his friends were trying their hardest to avoid the Hokage’s eyes, Shikamaru figured he had to step up. Sighing, he began. “Yeah. You were--” 

“--troublesome?” Naruto offered with an embarrassed smile. Shikamaru inwardly snorted. ‘Troublesome was a _huge understatement_.’

Nodding in affirmation, the Nara lazily continued. “It was a drag. Don’t you--"

"Maa--" Kakashi nonchalantly interjected "--how about just tell them what you can remember, _Naruto-kun_?" At his obvious endearment in addressing the Hokage, multiple dirty looks were shot at the Rokudaime. 

Scrunching up his nose, the Blonde recalled. "Well… it's honestly not much. I mean. I remember going to the office and signing some paperwork?” The Hokage ended more in a question as he slightly tilted his head. 

“H-how--” Ino, the one who started all of it, croaked. "--c-could you f-forget?” she inquired. Cause’ there’s absolutely no way Ino could ever forget it. Judging from the others’ (read: victims) reactions, she’s pretty sure they felt the same. 

Naruto shrugged before supplying, “Well… it’s always been like that.” All of his visitors (except Kakashi) gave him inquisitive looks. 

“I already tried asking Kurama about it. But, the furball--”

At the mention of this word, Chouji and Kiba eyed the Uchiha as Shikamaru snickered. Sasuke sent the Nara a warning look while those who noticed their interactions (aka Neji, Sakura, and Shino) appeared confused. 

“--was pretty tight-lipped, claiming it was better for me not to know.” Kakashi nodded in agreement which earned him another vicious glare. Ino was just about to inquire further when Naruto added. “Anyways--” the Hokage leaned comfortably leaned at his chair “--Kaka-sensei said you guys took care of me last night.”

Rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly, he continued “I guess... I owe you guys.” With a fond (read: charming) smile, he looked them in the eyes as he warmly remarked.

“ _Thank you.”_

And _Poof._

The Gang, with exception of Shikamaru, disappeared either by Body-flickering, Substitution Jutsu, or whatsoever, startling the Hokage. Fortunately, before the Blonde could question his friends Kakashi intercepted it by dropping another batch of paperwork _from God-knows-where_ , effectively distracting him in the process. Glancing at the empty spots of his friends, Shikamaru can’t really blame them for leaving.

'If the Gang couldn't handle the charm of a _drunk_ Naruto, who said they can when he's _sober_?'

The Nara inwardly sighed. He would've followed his friends if it wasn't such a waste of chakra (read: too troublesome). Returning his gaze to Hokage, who's petulantly complaining about his newly-added workload, Shikamaru had to admit he can see the _resemblance._ He guessed the alcohol brought out the Blonde's mature personality, augmenting his charisma. In hindsight, the manner he interacted with them, his words and sentiments -- all of it were Naruto's. The Young Advisor finally understood Kakashi-sensei's reason for always hanging around the Tower.

Their Hokage might not be the usual magnetic type of a leader, but Shikamaru can't deny even goofiness has its _own charm._

* * *

OMAKE

At the rooftop of an unknown building, Naruto was peacefully lounging, both arms on the back of his head as he stargazed. For some reason, the Toad Sannin had kicked him out for the night, screaming obscenities at his unfairness. The Blonde had absolutely no idea what his mentor was blabbing about. Regardless, he reluctantly followed. 

(Somewhere, Jiraiya's crying at how his apprentice managed to _unintentionally seduce_ all the occupants of the bar, including busty women). 

After a few more moments, he felt another presence approach him.

“Ahh--” Naruto remarked in recognition, “--Itachi-san. Are you here to kill me?” The Blonde inquired without bothering to change his position. 

“No.” The Elder Uchiha instantly clipped before adding, “I’m here to capture you for the Kyuubi’s extraction.” He stopped when he was less than five feet away. 

“Right. You’re here for the Kyuubi. How could I forget?” Naruto hummed nonchalantly before inquiring, "Can we do it some other time? The capturing me thingy?" 

At his silence, Naruto sat up lazily. Patting the empty space beside him, he suggested. "Just… Will you watch the stars with me tonight?”

Not moving any inch, the Uchiha quirked an eyebrow at the odd request. 

Scratching the back of his neck sheepishly, he commented. "That came out weird. It's just--" Naruto glanced at the night sky, "I heard… They'll be shooting stars tonight. The last time I saw one was with Sasuke." A fond smile graced his slips "It's been almost two years since then. So--" The Blonde drawled as returned his gaze to the Uchiha "--care to join me in place of your brother? A truce?" 

At the mention of his brother's name (and Naruto's expectant puppy look), Itachi reluctantly agreed as he comfortably sat on the same spot. He had time to spare. Also, securing the Kyuubi's Jinchuuriki was not an immediate assignment (for now).

"Why are you sitting from that distance?" The Blonde curiously inquired, eyeing the space between them. In response, the Uchiha stated in a monotonous tone.

"I might have agreed with your proposition. However, I am not entitled to--"

_Scoot. Scoot._

“--Wait.” Itachi corrected as he noticed Naruto’s movement before questioning, “What are you doing?” 

“I’m moving closer to you?” The Jinchuuriki dumbly responded. 

_‘I can see that.’_ The Uchiha was absolutely tempted to reply sarcastically. Instead, he settled on rewording his next statement.

“Yes. But my real question is: _Why._ ” Itachi stressed the last word of his sentence.

“Oh. Well--” The Blonde’s eyes shimmered with understanding as he supplied. “--if we’re gonna stargaze together, I’d rather do it next to you. Besides, we’re _friends._ ” Naruto grinned at his companion. 

Not waiting for any response, the Blonde situated himself comfortably next to him. His current position was similar to how the Uchiha found him earlier. Meanwhile, Itachi looked at him like Naruto had grown another head. The prodigal Uchiha was absolutely clueless to how his companion (aka his target) got the idea that _they were friends._

“I tried to kill you.” He dryly remarked before adding. “And friends don’t try to kill one another.” Itachi solemnly pointed out to which Naruto returned with a snort, causing the former to give him a blank stare. 

Chortling, he casually apologized. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh. It’s just--” As his chuckles finally toned down, the Blonde supplied “--Sasuke’s my _best friend_ and _he tried to kill me_.” When Itachi opened his mouth to comment, Naruto instantly interjected. “And before you say it’s an Uchiha thing kind-of-shit, most of my closest friends tried to murder me at some point. Take Gaara for example. Besides--” 

Itachi considered recommending to reevaluate the Blonde’s friendship. As he continued to listen, Itachi’s fully convinced this kid (aka Naruto) had a seriously messed up definition of _friends. That_ , or the Jinchuuriki’s a little screwed over his head. Not that the Uchiha had any right to say in that matter. 

“--it’s not like you’ve ever given me a death blow, Itachi-san, let alone kill me.” Naruto ended with a smile, slightly glimpsing at his companion.

Predictably, this earned an arched eyebrow from the Uchiha, signifying his confusion. Understanding his puzzlement, the Blonde glanced back to the sky before elaborating.

“I mean. You were after the Kyuubi, _not me_. Plus--” Naruto purposely dragged the syllables of this word to emphasize his point “--you’ve always tried to capture me alive. So--”

“--Yes.” Itachi abruptly cut in before carrying on, “--However, its extraction will undeniably lead to your death.”

Naruto softly hummed in agreement before adding, “And that’s what makes you my friend--"

‘He’s completely _missing_ the point.’ The Sharingan user inwardly sighed.

"--You should lay down, Itachi-san. The view’s better.”

Itachi briefly wondered if he should just leave, save himself the headache. Yet, for some unfathomable reason, he can’t help but _stay_. Resigned, the Uchiha simply followed the Blonde’s action and reclined. 

The moment he looked up, Itachi’s breath almost hitched at the scenery that greeted him, astonished by its beauty. As the dusk of the night blanket the sky, the stars twinkled like sparks of white embers, bringing life to its darkness. It was, for the lack of a better term, absolutely exquisite to the Uchiha. This sight somewhat reminded him of a memory with his best friend/ cousin, Shisui. The time when they attempted to catch some fireflies as a gift to a 3-yrs. old Sasuke. Emotions he had buried over the years tried to resurface. _No._ He can’t--

“You’re really a good person, Itachi-san.” Naruto (genuinely) blurted out of nowhere, successfully interrupting his (negative) train of thoughts.

In incredulity, the Uchiha abruptly sat up, twisting his body as he stared directly at his companion, who simply blinked (stupidly) at his intense gaze. 

“I _massacred_ almost everyone in my clan.” Itachi rebutted in complete disbelief.

Naruto simply shrugged before remarking, “Meh. Everyone has their reasons. I'm sure you had your own.”

 _It’s official._ This kid’s insane. The prodigal Uchiha didn’t even bother countering his statement. He knew there’s no point arguing through the Blonde’s thick skull. Somehow… Itachi felt _warm._ It was a foreign feeling, but not entirely unwelcome. All in all, it was _pleasant_. 

“Itachi-san, Look! A shooting star!” Naruto exuberantly exclaimed as he pointed a hand towards the sky. 

The Uchiha glanced just in time to catch a glimpse of its fleeting light. Truthfully, Itachi couldn’t remember the last time he was _this relaxed_ with another’s company. Being a (fake) member of the Akatsuki made him always be on guard, especially since trust wasn’t something that exists among them. He heard the Blonde let out a large yawn as he moved.

And suddenly, Itachi _froze._ His entire body uncharacteristically _stilled_ as he felt another weight (read: arm) draped over him, _almost like a hug._

‘What the--’ The prodigal Uchiha never got to finish his thought as he heard him muffled in his coat.

“ _\--warm._ ” Naruto mumbled groggily as he snuggled further. 

Itachi, on the other hand, was in an (internal) crisis. He needed to _leave_. However, for some inexplicable reason, his body _refused to move._ The Uchiha's objective mind blamed it on his lack of physical contact for years. (The fact Itachi couldn’t handle the guilt of Naruto’s kicked puppy look if he left was completely overlooked). Still, he can't deny the _unknown emotion_ bubbling inside of him.

_Swish._

With the wind’s whiff, Itachi immediately recognized the scent it carried. At his realization, he released some tensions from his shoulders. 

"You're _drunk_." Itachi noted, unconsciously with a hint of affection. 

"Hmmm--” Naruto hummed in agreement, “--Maybe, you're right. I am feeling kinda light, Itachi-san."

 _This time,_ the Uchiha fully relaxed at the Blonde’s embrace. He knew it was all the alcohol’s influence. Sensing his companion was about to continue, he let him be. After all, whatever Naruto was about to say, it’s nothing but a drunken rambling. Itachi could handle it. 

(Too bad, he spoke too soon.) 

"You know…I remembered you as my Anbu." Instantly, the Uchiha slightly tilted his head to glance at him. "Surprised?” He chuckled before continuing, “I enjoyed picking you guys apart. It's kinda like a guessing game? Anyways--” another yawn escaped the Blonde’s lips “--you were _my favorite._ Unlike the others, you always made me feel _safe_. Like how a brother would have protected me.”

And the _strange sensation_ was back. Itachi could almost feel _something fluttering_ inside of him. As much as he wanted to leave (translation: flee), the Uchiha wouldn’t. His principles simply denied him to abandon the drunk Uzumaki alone. 

“That's why I knew, you were good. I just…I just wished both you and Sasuke would understand. That, no matter what..." The Blonde drawled sleepily, nuzzling his face further into his hair. 

“Wha-what are you insinuating?” Itachi wheezed uncharacteristically. 

Truthfully, the Uchiha doesn’t care how absolutely out of character his inquiry might be. He had so many questions, so many things to correct from the Blonde's statement. However, Itachi can’t seem to find the right words. His entire being was so _fixated_ with the puff breathing faintly into his ear, sending goosebumps down to his spine. ‘ _He’s drunk.’_ Itachi forced his mind to repeat these words like a mantra.

Momentarily detaching himself from the Uchiha, the Blonde looked at him solemnly as he remarked. “It’s that... _I’ll always want you back,_ Itachi-san.” Naruto ended with a (cute) toothy grin before (once again) snuggling into his companion.

Humming in contentment, he added. “You’re really oof--”

Before the Blonde could finish, he twisted his body in an attempt to escape, which (accidentally) led them to a very _compromising position_ (not that Naruto was ever aware of it). Itachi's body was completely on top of Naruto with both hands next to each of the latter’s ears, supporting his weight. The moment the situation sank in, his Sharingan eyes instantly flared, locking itself into Naruto’s cerulean ones. With a whisper of 'Tsukiyomi', he put the drunk Jinchuuriki into blissful sleep. 

And for the first time in his life, Itachi of the Sharingan retreated, _redder than a tomato_.

(The Akatsuki didn't pursue Naruto for the next six months.)

* * *

_The END_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Again!
> 
> How was it? I hope the humor was still there. Writing the guys part was soooooo hard. Hahahuhuh. Anyways, Who was your favorite? Let me know your thoughts! My fave will always be Itachi. Hahaha. With what happened in the Canon, he needs more love and credit. Also, this fic might be a little bias with Kakashi, but I assure you. The kiss was platonic? Hahaha. Once again, Thank you sooo much <3
> 
> PS. Sasuke's comment of 'gay' was not meant to be discriminating or anything. It just seems to be the right word to further evoke Kiba's denial.


	9. How to Save a Life: Itachi & Shisui

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Songfic AU. Uchiha Centric.
> 
> In which every time Itachi passes by a river, his Mangekyo Sharingan unconsciously flares as he gazes through the horizon.
> 
> OR
> 
> The story of how Itachi honors the memory of his dead cousin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Everyone!
> 
> Before anything else, THANK YOU SO MUCH for the positive reviews and kudos 💕🥰 There are no words to express how happy I am. I'm really glad I started writing. Hahaha. 
> 
> Anyways, so a little heads up. Unlike the previous stories, this chapter does not feature our fave crazy Blonde (aka Naruto). Just thought I should give the forgotten Uchiha heroes some credit (Okay. I am so biased. I just love Itachi and Shisui. Hahaha). Hopefully, you'll enjoy this chapter. Happy reading! 🥰
> 
> PS. I listened to Boyce Avenue's version of 'How to Save a Life' while writing this. Maybe you could also try while reading this? Hahahah

(Note: **"** **_Naruto_ ** **"** \- denotes lyrics of the song)

* * *

“You sure fancy staring at those waters, don’t you?” Kisame offhandedly commented to his partner.

Instantly, Itachi’s red irises returned to normal as he turned his gaze away from the river. Without missing a beat, he shifted to his companion and said. “Let’s go.” The Uchiha instructed, not bothering to acknowledge the other’s remark. 

“Sheez. Not even gonna tell your partner anything?” The ex-Mist Ninja teased in an attempt to bait the young prodigy.

“It’s none of your business.” Itachi monotonously shot back, which Kisame returned with a shrug as they proceeded to their destination, away from the riverside.

However, it still didn’t stop the _memories_ rushing into him as Itachi momentarily closed his eyes.

* * *

_Flashback_

**_“Step one, you say we need to talk. He walks, you say sit down, it's just a talk.”_ **

When Itachi arrived at the Naka river, his best friend/ cousin, Uchiha Shisui, was already there waiting for him. The moment he was on sight, Shisui grinned as he exuberantly greeted his cousin with a ‘Yo’, which the other returned with a minuscule smile.

However, their smiles were immediately erased as they got the point of their meeting. Gravely, Shisui began.

“The Clan’s will to make the coup happen is so much stronger than we anticipated--” he paused for a before continuing, “--that being said, the Elder’s decision to delay the rebellion is still a great result.” Shisui assessed, trying to look positive at their situation.

Still, Itachi knew the truth, his facial features turning somber as he absorbed the other’s report. 

At his cousin’s grim expression, Shisui teasingly reprimanded. “Oh. Don’t give me that look. Remember--” Standing up, the older Uchiha began to approach his cousin. “--this is you and me we’re talking about, Itachi. Everything will work out.” He grinned, putting a comforting hand on the other’s shoulder.

At that, Itachi couldn’t help but smile. The younger Uchiha was just about to respond when his little brother came running at him, urging him to come home for dinner. Itachi was instantly torn between following his brother and continuing his conversation with his cousin (not that they could talk much with Sasuke with them). 

To save him from the trouble, Shisui laughed as he remarked. "Just go. You still have to prepare for tomorrow's mission right?" 

Remembering his mission, Itachi nodded before mouthing a soft 'Thank you' earning a heartful laugh from the older Uchiha. 

(Itachi never saw the remorseful smile Shisui gave them as the Uchiha brothers walked away).

* * *

**_“He smiles politely back at you, you stare politely right on through. Some sort of window to your right. As he goes left, and you stay right.”_ **

“Thanks for the quicksave back there, Itachi.” Shisui wheezed out as he sluggishly stood up, wincing slightly at the pain.

When Itachi moved to help his cousin, the latter simply raised a hand, signifying that he could handle it. This stopped the young Uchiha in his tracks as he stared at the back of his best friend who’s currently facing the streams of the Naka River.

“The Foundation is involved.” The older Uchiha began, still staring aimlessly at the river. “Unfortunately, there’s no way to stop the Uchiha coup. If internal warfare breaks out in Konoha, the neighboring countries will invade and--” Shisui, now with a missing eye, turned to face him, expression completely solemn. “--and war will surely follow.” 

The words _‘we can’t let that happen’_ were left unspoken. Still, Itachi heard it loud and clear. He couldn't help but agree. However, with Shisui incapable of casting the _Kotoamatsukami_ and time against their side, their odds were turning grim. 

Itachi’s thoughts briefly wondered to his little brother, Sasuke. The one he promised to protect. If the war broke out, his brother will undeniably be caught in the crossfire. This will not only ruin Sasuke’s childhood but also his future. Even if they did manage to win the war, the Uchiha coup will forever taint Sasuke’s future. 

Itachi just _couldn’t_ let that happen.

“Itachi--” Shisui called, interrupting the prodigy’s train of thoughts. “--before that happens--” the older Uchiha placed a palm in his face before plucking his remaining eye “--I want you to have _this._ ” Shisui, who’s now completely blind, held out his eye to his friend. 

_This_ was the Mangekyo Sharingan. If his cousin was handing it to him, it could only mean one thing - Shisui was _entrusting_ everything to him. The mere thought of it made his heart clenched. The prodigy didn’t want to acknowledge it. He wanted his friend to realize - Itachi just couldn’t do this, _alone._

He _needed_ his best friend.

Sensing the other’s reluctance, the Older Uchiha added almost pleadingly. “You’re my best friend, the only person I could truly trust. In my place, for Sasuke’s sake, Protect the Village and the Uchiha name.”

No words were exchanged as Itachi emptily accepted his request. Despite that Shisui smiled before turning to face the river again. With a deep sigh, he continued. “Also… This isn’t the only thing I wanted you to have. Itachi, I’ll give you a new power - your own _Mangekyo Sharingan_.”

* * *

**_“Between the lines of fear and blame, You begin to wonder why you came.”_ **

“--Mangekyo Sharingan.”

Understanding the implication of his words, Itachi’s eyes instantly widened in alarm. Words, which were previously stuck, finally came out as feelings of _dread, regret,_ and _sorrow_ began to flood him.

“Shisui, You can’t!--” However, before he could finish his protests, Shisui immediately interjected. 

“Just take it as a gift, Itachi.” Shifting to face him again, Shisui weakly offered, “We both know I’m not gonna last long, anyway.” He concluded with a sad, knowing smile. 

Itachi desperately wanted to argue, to point out that they could find another way, to tell him - _Please don’t leave me._ However, the young Uchiha knew it was no use. Shisui already made up his decision. He was now saying his _goodbyes._

At his cousin’s silence, the older Uchiha took it as a sign to continue, “I’m sorry, Itachi. From now on, you might be forced to walk down a long, dark path - one that’s filled with pain and suffering. I’m sorry I couldn’t walk with you anymore.” Shisui sent him another sorrowful smile. Without wasting another moment, he comfortingly asserted. “But, I’m positive you can do this. So… Don’t worry too much, Itachi. It will all be fine.” 

Itachi knew he had to say something in return. Hence, despite the lump building in his throat, the brimming tears threatening to fall, he managed to utter, “I… I will carry on your will, for the Uchiha and the future of this Village.” The young Uchiha shakily mumbled as he stifled back a sob.

Hearing his best friend’s response, Shisui smiled and took a few steps back. When he was at the edge of the cliff, the older Uchiha gave out his widest grin as he said his last words.

“Well then, see ya Itachi… _I leave the rest to you._ ”

And with that, Shisui fell to his death as Itachi’s tomoe swirled red, resembling a bloody pinwheel. 

* * *

As the sun began to set, Itachi stood by the edge of the River, staring aimlessly at the flowing stream.

Finally finding his voice back, he faintly muttered.

“Rest in peace, Shisui.” 

The moment he uttered those words, the sun had completely set. Itachi let the night swallow him, _his_ Mangekyo Sharingan continued to flare as Itachi silently wept.

_End of Flashback_

* * *

**_“... Had I known how to save a life.”_ **

Even to this day, as he wore the symbol of the Akatsuki, bearing the sins of his actions, Itachi still wondered about the possibilities - creating multiple scenarios of how things could’ve ended differently. If there was, in any way, Itachi could’ve saved his best friend, _Shisui_.

At the thought, the Uchiha inwardly let out a humorless laugh. After all, even at the mere age of 4, his father showed him the reality of their world, what it means to be a Ninja. 

Itachi was born as a Ninja, a soldier raised to kill.

Even if the Uchiha tried, he would have never known _how to save a life._

* * *

_The End..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!
> 
> How was it? Hopefully, it was okayish. I was honestly worried about writing this story since it's really different from the previous ones. I just hope I gave justice to those characters. They seriously deserved so much more than what happened to Canon. Anyways, let me know your thoughts about it.
> 
> Thank you!
> 
> Ps. You might have noticed that I kinda tweaked Shisui's speech before he died. Just found it fitting. Hahahaha.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Let me know your thoughts. Thank u so much <3


End file.
